ze connection

its crazy the way we react to similar things among people we meet. may eventually referred to as bonding and indirectly it wud be quite literally correct too. the way we catch on to and further more, hold on to similarities between our lives and that of someone else could be in its own way nothing less than personal relationships with each common instance on its own. we relate to such ideas like we were exactly at the same place, at the same time and like we processed thoughts in the exact same sequence. and the few occasions that there may actually be a difference, we view it as variety adding spice to life.

its hard to let go of such kind of people. you'd think that if you shared so much in common life would be easiest to go through if lived together. and even if not together, the mere companionship would make everything else seem like a blur, which maybe is what it should actually be. in parting is great sadness. the uncertainty of being able to replace them, of being able to share your views, of knowing that even if u cant maybe they can and your ok wit that. so how do you move on from there? my thoughts are getting quite murky.

lets try and put a few things in to perspective. common ground is essential for all logical purposes with anyone who is to be more than just an acquaintance. but then where does the diversity start?.. and how common is common enough. common things for which i would settle for is ideology on something which is important to me! but this subject has got to have a lot of branches and deviations between views should be maintained... if not, somethin or someone should be dramatically the same, and then again this something or someone should not be just a one time thing.

im craving an emotional connection at the moment. somethin which is a little deep and something which is completely reciprocated! i need a little bit of direction and a little bit of perspecive. all in all, i need a whole lote of love!







love n lcuk



ps. i love to see my boss smile... it reassures me that his day is not all that bad and that he can handle it!

ze 10 hours ago

love you for the shirt

for the surprise then, the suspense, and revelation the day before!

and just in general







love n luck

ze blur

well you caught me in a good mood so your going to get a good version of this this story. for those who kno, blur was my private blog for all practical means of putting it... it had my thoughts, my ambitions and aspirations, my inspirations and hopes and dreams and this was my world. MY WORLD. no one knew of it. no one knew what was in it. it was just me, myself and i! while my blog was my vent, blur was the window to my soul!

but then in time i found reasons to not need a vent and further down the line the same reason now had a personalized door and footpath so the window became quite similarly unnecessary too. all in all, my posts started dwindling and my entries started never appearing and i thought i had it all figured out and the world spun calmly about its axis and i thought it was safe to venture out in to untamed waters, there amidst the scenic beauty of the world, blur disappeared with the harsh undercurrents in a moment so quick that you couldn even offer your life in sacrifice to the gods of the tempest. and who would have thought that that is the price you pay for underestimating the smoothness of the frost of each wave, and their time and tide and it's space and illusion.

its taken me quite a while to get here from where i started out from and from where i reached to where life takes me everyday. but the leaves these days seem like something to hold on to and preserve amongst other foliage and bindings. these days each idea takes me somewhere in time though the question is, is it worth getting back to where you started of from when your all done and dry?




love n luck

ze 1st sem

the last tym i posted which was a couple of days ago, google asked me if i had read its privacy statement yet. yes... that's how long it has been! then again, that's recent news... just now, a second ago, i decided to blog, iv not had da feelin in longer than before google even thot of changin its ideas on privacy... forget feelin... feelings come and go.. its d urge im talkin about... its dat strain to put down in words with the hope of clarity... its that tug on ur heart u kno u cant cry out.... its the thots da flow da make u not give a dam abt grammar, spellin and punctuation...... an d only thin da it ever is... its d lack of a soul! some soul...... any soul.............. an with da my shoulders stretch out a bit.... my breaths relax.... my eyes shut...... my mind drifts......... an i lay out flat and dream










































































i feel very 1st sem-ish... the turmoil.... the new place.... the unusual ppl.... only this time its not as counter productiv.. today has been a bit confusin on d mind but it was a good day... a long walk..... a good talk.... iv never even seen a better moon an iv definitely not tried cheese cake before! n it wasn even full moon.. da slight sliver of hope an all in a days work... who wudv talked... today my dream is a dream... today my dream is not a nightmare, we'll save da for another day, we call da the blur, today is a dream, today is d present, today is not a gift, apparently i got mine a little less than 21 yrs ago...

my life is not goin to be bad... my life will fall in to path... an da path will be good... in a few years, i may not be rich, i mayb workin my ass of for every penny da i make... at a job i probably don wan.... but my life will fall in to place... an apartment.. transportation.... an eventually..... a kid! an all before im 30... i may nt b alive aft da.... but today i dream.. today i think... im goin to apply to berkeley and stanford next year... gre score or no gre score... i heard penn is good too... :')

so while i dream tonight an drift of to sleep, someone pls b my guardian angel n hav my back n help me not stumble over stones as often and if a tear ever at all should fall be the shoulder da keeps my head held high... i may make a mess of things time and again but believe in me and trust da i will sort it out... it works.. really! u jus got to try it out! and happy or sad, d warmth in ur touch should get me thru, of da im sure.... but then again.. if all else fails.... be my inspiration.. be my hope..... be.. my dream!





love n luck

ze mishap

I swear I typed out a year end blog post and scheduled it to be posted at the year end due to the probability of me not having access to a working net connection as I was out of town around that time and in the midst of all the commotion I just could not stand the possibility of not having posted for the last time in that year with nothing but the thought of this being my last post of the year. Not only that, it was supposed to be my 24th post. And that number is quite significant if you seen the number of posts I post each year. This is the first time I am logging in this year and it's not a very pretty sight. For the first time in ever I''m wishing I could turn back time. I am extremely certain I typed out that post, and I am extremely certain I scheduled it. Though at this moment I can't even locate a draft of it so I have no clue what just happened. Dam! And I thought my first post this year, even though it's horribly late would be very well worth reading but instead it's an apology. I pity myself, so then again, till better times!



Love n luck