ze C

I was supposed to test for cancer a little less than a year ago... I am good at medical things. Usually. Like besides the fact when I was in denial about Vitamin D deficiency. Other than that, I am good with medical stuff. Which is why I refused to test for cancer. There was no reason to prove that it was true. And I couldn't bear having to take a test whose results would haunt me forever.

Now I am not sure if that was the smartest idea ever. Well, it isn't a stupid idea... But may not be the smartest. I am a little scared that I didn't do it when I should have, and that somewhere down the line it would require me to put my entire life into perspective.

The problem with perspective is that is the only time regret bites you in the ass. I usually do not regret much, or anything. I sort of strive to make sure that my decisions do not have particularly strong repercussions. Even now, I am not regretting this decision per se. The only thing I am scared of really is coincidence. If at all I do have any medical condition in the future that might probably be even vaguely linked to this, I am going to be so devastated that my whole putting life into perspective task is going to be so much more painful that I am afraid that I wouldn't be able to cope with it.

I am scared.







love n luck