ze when

Someone told me I sound different, someone asked me if everything was okay! This someone I barely knew!

People, some of them, pride themselves in knowing me, understanding me, or in exclaiming that they find it so hard to understand me that it is a burden on them in the heaviest sense.

True. All the above. Also true, lack of effort on either part, also true, the irony of the thought of both people in the conversation actually having any sort of deep knowledge or insight of the other, that, or the conscious choice on either persons part to ignore the other. Either way, a one word description would be 'hypocrisy'. Yet everyone without fail denies the charges. Though, everyone, without fail, fits the description to the tee.

Yet then again, who am I to judge for the world. Why do I chose to believe my horse is so up high that I can barely see the ground below. The only consequence of that would be that I would crash to the ground accelerating at 9.81 meter per second squared and I may not even be eligible for the world record of the fastest freefall. Yes, I'm not that high up there either, sometimes I deny being a hypocrite too!

But sometimes what I wouldn't give to successfully have encouraged at least one someone to relax, take some time out and understand. To watch a while and learn? To breathe a bit and sigh and enjoy the light headed feeling and allow its lingering to overwhelm you? To resign? To let go? To voluntarily be OCD-free?

I'm happy. Sometimes I manage to successfully encourage myself to relax, broad-mindedly understand and contemplate a while and eagerly learn and want to know more. And sometimes I manage to convince myself to resignedly sigh and run my finger-tips through my hair and go completely limp only to involuntarily feel a content smile creep silently, stretching the edges of my lips upward in a truly pious thanksgiving gesture. Sometimes, I find peace. I'm happy!



And maybe, just maybe, there is a God...






love n luck

Ps. "It's just, you think you know someone. You know who they are. You share a house, or make wishes on eyelashes with them. And we don't know each other... None of us." -- Izzie, Grey's Anatomy, S02E03.

ze violin

I wasn't like you. I wasn't the most talented student in school. I wasn't the brightest. But I was the best.

Discipline. Practice. Something to be the best at. And yet it's always relative. And everyone thinks they are the best. Yet then again there is a flair. It is a flair for a people to be truly good at something when he can portray underlying art in his work. Art that only other best artists can read. Art that connects you at a level that makes telepathy seem like a child's play.

Serenity. Patience. Something to make you seem 'God-like'. Or with a little less blasphemy, angelic. Or yet again, atheistic-ally, something that makes you seem like a martyr. Serenity to accept the things you cannot change. Patience to put up with the things you cannot change till you find serenity.

Discipline, practice, serenity, patience may be all you need to live a fruitful life in your eyes. Just know that no one else will recognize your sanity. Unless they themselves have a hint of art. And for the rest of them, that's why serenity is on your list. No one approves of someone who is serene anyway. What would the world be if everyone wanted nothing, if everyone was content? What would the world be if everyone was at peace with themselves? 

 Discipline. 

 Practice. 

 Serenity. 

 Patience.

 love n luck