ze dope

la suite...

I am alone
Not just me
We're alone
Alone forever
And at the end of that forever tunnel up is a wall paper of sky scrappers
I'm thinking after all those beautiful trips
This is one of those bad ones

So ya yesterday n a lil of today affirmed why people shudn do dope... or get out of it as soon as possible.... ya we all think everything we do we have perfect control over... kno wen to start... stop... can regulate time and place or flawless abstinence... that was the basic underlyin princple of basketball diaries.... based on a ture story.. a personal diary narration of and by Jim Carroll.... Leonardo DiCaprio, Mark Wahlberg... both basketball players... pretty good game career on the horizon... dope dependancy on the increase... best friend dies of leukemia... pop pills before a game n fall on court... pull out from school and all hope of a future ends there.... from sniffin bag to coke n then intravenous.... mum throws him out... so now all the freedom in d world.... pickpockets, steals cars, break-in robbery, partially the cause of a guys death, allows a guy to feel him up n give him a blow job in exchange for 30 bucks, his own mother finally has him arrested...... now thats when he gets clean, whilst livin amongst the best dope u can find.... gets out n gets life back on track.....
By the age of 17, Jim Carroll comleted what would later be known as 'The Basketball Diaries'...
By the age of 22, he published 3 renowned volumes of poetry n later recorded 4 albums...
Presently, lives in New York City, where he continues to write and is an acclaimed poet, musician, novelist and performer...

movie decently graphic, not graphic graphic but enough to convince you that dope isn half the best thing on the planet... brief explanations from him as he narrates diary entries... the on-top-of-the-world first time heroin feelin, the sell almost sex for cash, the pain cursin thru ur veins wen u cant resist not sniffin, when u think that its just a friday night pass time but then its a lil too nice to increase frequency to a tuesday too and then maybe thrice a week, yeah u still have control, u can stop whenever u like, (can u?), the loneliness.......

well i, till now at least din approve of smokin up at least cuz of the whole smoke screws my environment, n dope isn to be endorsed either cuz its primarily illegal.... the above are supposed to be symptoms... i wouldn kno.... maybe i shouldn talk witout experience.... but apparently its smart to learn from your mistakes yet smarter to learn from other peoples mistakes.... but how much those mistakes actually teach would nullify how much of a mistake it is if only you choose to learn.... else its a worthless waste which includes a squander of life and bare existence...

an impendin question.... how many to be Jim Carrolls will we be fortunate or unfortunate to meet durin these 4 years..... all our lifetime will be somethin lik it but im more concerned about now n d people im aware of now..... til today iv never condemned dope so much as now... i might have even considered it a few times.... i hope manipal finds its diversion of that road fast enough for salvation... or maybe tomorrow might never be theirs.....


And I'd give up forever to touch you
'Cause I know that you feel me somehow
You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be
And I don't want to go home right now

And all I can taste is this moment
And all I can breathe is your life
'Cause sooner or later it's over
I just don't want to miss you tonight

And I don't want the world to see me
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming
Or the moment of truth in your lies
When everything feels like the movies
And you bleed just to know you're alive

And I don't want the world to see me
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am
-Iris,
Goo Goo Dolls,
Dizzy Up The Girl (1998)



love n luck