Everybody has their own special scent. And each scent has 3 distinct parts technically termed as notes. A top note, a middle note and a base note… most people are only aware of their top notes. How they want to be perceived, their image. The middle layer is a buffer to keep the external highs away from the forbidden lows. Forbidden because its what people are most afraid of, their true selves. Close your eyes so that you can see it all.
love n luck
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Friday, March 20, 2009
ze dope
la suite...
I am alone
Not just me
We're alone
Alone forever
And at the end of that forever tunnel up is a wall paper of sky scrappers
I'm thinking after all those beautiful trips
This is one of those bad ones
So ya yesterday n a lil of today affirmed why people shudn do dope... or get out of it as soon as possible.... ya we all think everything we do we have perfect control over... kno wen to start... stop... can regulate time and place or flawless abstinence... that was the basic underlyin princple of basketball diaries.... based on a ture story.. a personal diary narration of and by Jim Carroll.... Leonardo DiCaprio, Mark Wahlberg... both basketball players... pretty good game career on the horizon... dope dependancy on the increase... best friend dies of leukemia... pop pills before a game n fall on court... pull out from school and all hope of a future ends there.... from sniffin bag to coke n then intravenous.... mum throws him out... so now all the freedom in d world.... pickpockets, steals cars, break-in robbery, partially the cause of a guys death, allows a guy to feel him up n give him a blow job in exchange for 30 bucks, his own mother finally has him arrested...... now thats when he gets clean, whilst livin amongst the best dope u can find.... gets out n gets life back on track.....
By the age of 17, Jim Carroll comleted what would later be known as 'The Basketball Diaries'...
By the age of 22, he published 3 renowned volumes of poetry n later recorded 4 albums...
Presently, lives in New York City, where he continues to write and is an acclaimed poet, musician, novelist and performer...
movie decently graphic, not graphic graphic but enough to convince you that dope isn half the best thing on the planet... brief explanations from him as he narrates diary entries... the on-top-of-the-world first time heroin feelin, the sell almost sex for cash, the pain cursin thru ur veins wen u cant resist not sniffin, when u think that its just a friday night pass time but then its a lil too nice to increase frequency to a tuesday too and then maybe thrice a week, yeah u still have control, u can stop whenever u like, (can u?), the loneliness.......
well i, till now at least din approve of smokin up at least cuz of the whole smoke screws my environment, n dope isn to be endorsed either cuz its primarily illegal.... the above are supposed to be symptoms... i wouldn kno.... maybe i shouldn talk witout experience.... but apparently its smart to learn from your mistakes yet smarter to learn from other peoples mistakes.... but how much those mistakes actually teach would nullify how much of a mistake it is if only you choose to learn.... else its a worthless waste which includes a squander of life and bare existence...
an impendin question.... how many to be Jim Carrolls will we be fortunate or unfortunate to meet durin these 4 years..... all our lifetime will be somethin lik it but im more concerned about now n d people im aware of now..... til today iv never condemned dope so much as now... i might have even considered it a few times.... i hope manipal finds its diversion of that road fast enough for salvation... or maybe tomorrow might never be theirs.....
And I'd give up forever to touch you
'Cause I know that you feel me somehow
You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be
And I don't want to go home right now
And all I can taste is this moment
And all I can breathe is your life
'Cause sooner or later it's over
I just don't want to miss you tonight
And I don't want the world to see me
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am
And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming
Or the moment of truth in your lies
When everything feels like the movies
And you bleed just to know you're alive
And I don't want the world to see me
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am
-Iris,
Goo Goo Dolls,
Dizzy Up The Girl (1998)
love n luck
I am alone
Not just me
We're alone
Alone forever
And at the end of that forever tunnel up is a wall paper of sky scrappers
I'm thinking after all those beautiful trips
This is one of those bad ones
So ya yesterday n a lil of today affirmed why people shudn do dope... or get out of it as soon as possible.... ya we all think everything we do we have perfect control over... kno wen to start... stop... can regulate time and place or flawless abstinence... that was the basic underlyin princple of basketball diaries.... based on a ture story.. a personal diary narration of and by Jim Carroll.... Leonardo DiCaprio, Mark Wahlberg... both basketball players... pretty good game career on the horizon... dope dependancy on the increase... best friend dies of leukemia... pop pills before a game n fall on court... pull out from school and all hope of a future ends there.... from sniffin bag to coke n then intravenous.... mum throws him out... so now all the freedom in d world.... pickpockets, steals cars, break-in robbery, partially the cause of a guys death, allows a guy to feel him up n give him a blow job in exchange for 30 bucks, his own mother finally has him arrested...... now thats when he gets clean, whilst livin amongst the best dope u can find.... gets out n gets life back on track.....
By the age of 17, Jim Carroll comleted what would later be known as 'The Basketball Diaries'...
By the age of 22, he published 3 renowned volumes of poetry n later recorded 4 albums...
Presently, lives in New York City, where he continues to write and is an acclaimed poet, musician, novelist and performer...
movie decently graphic, not graphic graphic but enough to convince you that dope isn half the best thing on the planet... brief explanations from him as he narrates diary entries... the on-top-of-the-world first time heroin feelin, the sell almost sex for cash, the pain cursin thru ur veins wen u cant resist not sniffin, when u think that its just a friday night pass time but then its a lil too nice to increase frequency to a tuesday too and then maybe thrice a week, yeah u still have control, u can stop whenever u like, (can u?), the loneliness.......
well i, till now at least din approve of smokin up at least cuz of the whole smoke screws my environment, n dope isn to be endorsed either cuz its primarily illegal.... the above are supposed to be symptoms... i wouldn kno.... maybe i shouldn talk witout experience.... but apparently its smart to learn from your mistakes yet smarter to learn from other peoples mistakes.... but how much those mistakes actually teach would nullify how much of a mistake it is if only you choose to learn.... else its a worthless waste which includes a squander of life and bare existence...
an impendin question.... how many to be Jim Carrolls will we be fortunate or unfortunate to meet durin these 4 years..... all our lifetime will be somethin lik it but im more concerned about now n d people im aware of now..... til today iv never condemned dope so much as now... i might have even considered it a few times.... i hope manipal finds its diversion of that road fast enough for salvation... or maybe tomorrow might never be theirs.....
And I'd give up forever to touch you
'Cause I know that you feel me somehow
You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be
And I don't want to go home right now
And all I can taste is this moment
And all I can breathe is your life
'Cause sooner or later it's over
I just don't want to miss you tonight
And I don't want the world to see me
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am
And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming
Or the moment of truth in your lies
When everything feels like the movies
And you bleed just to know you're alive
And I don't want the world to see me
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am
-Iris,
Goo Goo Dolls,
Dizzy Up The Girl (1998)
love n luck
Thursday, March 19, 2009
ze basketball diaries
Little kids shoot marbles
Where branches break the sun
Into graceful shafts of light
I just wanna be pure
Just wanna be pure
If your goin to sniff, you might as well pop it,
If your goin to pop it, you might as well main line!
The rain clears the streets of the silent armies, so we can dance.
Dont let your mouth get u something ur ass cant handle.
love n luck
Where branches break the sun
Into graceful shafts of light
I just wanna be pure
Just wanna be pure
If your goin to sniff, you might as well pop it,
If your goin to pop it, you might as well main line!
The rain clears the streets of the silent armies, so we can dance.
Dont let your mouth get u something ur ass cant handle.
love n luck
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
ze thoughts
Pretty is in the eye of the beholder… Beauty is in the soul… But you know it when you feel it
Eyes are the reflection of the soul
There’s no fear of the unknown because its all unknown, everything is chance
love n luck
Eyes are the reflection of the soul
There’s no fear of the unknown because its all unknown, everything is chance
love n luck
ze evolution
today i have absolutely nothin in mind to write but im still feelin lik writin somethin... a lil on the philosophical side if possible... but lets see what comes naturally... u don try an force anythin.... jus let it take its time... all d time it wants or maybe its just never meant to be..... not exactly on the line of if u love somethin set it free if it returns its yours if it doesn it never was.... not the same logic.... cuz here ur not even sure about what it is to even love it.... your waitin for it to evolve and take its own time.... ur not tryin to speed up anythin.... u have to get somewhere.... many many countless ways to get there.... a short route, a long one.... or maybe one u run thru or another u crawl thru.... so ya take ur time.... u don need to get there in a hurry..... runnin is a waste of energy.... and what if the destination needs u to know what the route includes...??? what if.... when u reach there no ones bothered about how early u are.... what if all they want to kno is how many colours u saw on the way..... consider u ran by, then all u would have noticed is a blur.... ur entire life is now a blur.... n u cant pick things outta a whirlpool.... the speed defines it.... isn a lovely calm, maybe a lil breezy day better then a terror tornado striken emptyness???
hu wants to get up one day and realise their very existence has been absolute crap..... n moreover theyv done all they couldv in their stride to get there as soon as they could n then mayb rest happily ever after... all achieved, but not much that can be done wit it.... worthless... wasted.... maybe they shudv got high on weed once in a while... it would be a more ironically memorable wastedness experience.....
haste makes waste.... somethin we always knew since v wer kids ya.... maybe it din jus end der n it included a way more sophisticated meanin to the whole thin.... n mayb this isn what its implyin either.... but jus mayb it is......
Life, it's ever so strange
Think that you've worked it out then
Bang
Right out of the blue, something happens to you
to throw you off course and then you
Break down
Yeah, you break down
Well, don't you break down
because
It's just a ride, it's just a ride
No need to run, no need to hide
It'll take you round and round
Sometimes you're up, sometimes you're down
It's just a ride, it's just a ride
Don't be scared, don't hide your eyes
It may feel so real inside, but don't forget
It's just a ride
Truth we don't wanna hear(don't wanna hear)
It's too much to take(too much to take)
Don't like to feel out of control
So we make our plans(we make our plans)
Ten times a day(ten times a day)
And when they don't go our way we
Break down
Yeah, we break down
Well don't you break down
because
It's just a ride, it's just a ride
No need to run, no need to hide
It'll take you round and round
Sometimes you're up, sometimes you're down
It's just a ride, it's just a ride
Don't be scared, don't hide your eyes
It may feel so real inside, but don't forget
It's just a ride
Slowly, oh so very slowly
Accept that there's no getting off
So live it, just gotta go with it
'Cuz this ride's never gonna top
Break down
Don't you break down
No need to break down
No need at all because
It's just a ride, it's just a ride
No need to run, no need to hide
It'll take you all around
Sometimes you're up, sometimes you're down
It's just a ride, it's just a ride
Don't be scared now, dry your eyes
It may feel so real inside, but don't forget
Enjoy the ride
love n luck
hu wants to get up one day and realise their very existence has been absolute crap..... n moreover theyv done all they couldv in their stride to get there as soon as they could n then mayb rest happily ever after... all achieved, but not much that can be done wit it.... worthless... wasted.... maybe they shudv got high on weed once in a while... it would be a more ironically memorable wastedness experience.....
haste makes waste.... somethin we always knew since v wer kids ya.... maybe it din jus end der n it included a way more sophisticated meanin to the whole thin.... n mayb this isn what its implyin either.... but jus mayb it is......
Life, it's ever so strange
Think that you've worked it out then
Bang
Right out of the blue, something happens to you
to throw you off course and then you
Break down
Yeah, you break down
Well, don't you break down
because
It's just a ride, it's just a ride
No need to run, no need to hide
It'll take you round and round
Sometimes you're up, sometimes you're down
It's just a ride, it's just a ride
Don't be scared, don't hide your eyes
It may feel so real inside, but don't forget
It's just a ride
Truth we don't wanna hear(don't wanna hear)
It's too much to take(too much to take)
Don't like to feel out of control
So we make our plans(we make our plans)
Ten times a day(ten times a day)
And when they don't go our way we
Break down
Yeah, we break down
Well don't you break down
because
It's just a ride, it's just a ride
No need to run, no need to hide
It'll take you round and round
Sometimes you're up, sometimes you're down
It's just a ride, it's just a ride
Don't be scared, don't hide your eyes
It may feel so real inside, but don't forget
It's just a ride
Slowly, oh so very slowly
Accept that there's no getting off
So live it, just gotta go with it
'Cuz this ride's never gonna top
Break down
Don't you break down
No need to break down
No need at all because
It's just a ride, it's just a ride
No need to run, no need to hide
It'll take you all around
Sometimes you're up, sometimes you're down
It's just a ride, it's just a ride
Don't be scared now, dry your eyes
It may feel so real inside, but don't forget
Enjoy the ride
love n luck
Sunday, March 15, 2009
ze everlastin
Since we kissed the first time
Since we slept on the beach
You were too close for comfort
You were too far out of reach
You walked away, I should have held you
Would you have stayed for me to tell you?
I have always loved you
I knew you before I knew myself
Oh, I have always loved you
Years go by in a matter of days
And though we go separate ways
I never stop dreaming of you
I have always loved you
When you call it makes me cry
We never made time for you and I
If I could live it all again
I'd never let it end, I'd still be with you
Oh God, I miss you
love n luck
Since we slept on the beach
You were too close for comfort
You were too far out of reach
You walked away, I should have held you
Would you have stayed for me to tell you?
I have always loved you
I knew you before I knew myself
Oh, I have always loved you
Years go by in a matter of days
And though we go separate ways
I never stop dreaming of you
I have always loved you
When you call it makes me cry
We never made time for you and I
If I could live it all again
I'd never let it end, I'd still be with you
Oh God, I miss you
love n luck
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Monday, March 2, 2009
ze situation
its been a while.. i hope i haven forgotten how to write... seein an archive of only 4 posts in feb irrespective of the fewer number of days... not nice and not that stuff din happen and even the lack of things happenin is decent to talk about.... yes its been a while, even my keyboard is seeming different.... so i shall update now.....
ongoing revels '09..... gonna be gettin classes off now... nice..... unfortunately most of our half days are den in any case but still somethin.... anythin... better than nothin... can do wit the extra sleep anyday now who cant???
revel's also caused ruchi to miss turtle bay..... totally not worth missin.... unforgettable...she kinda had pre committed dance to attend to.... that was some class outin.... we don do much of em... tho plannin is in progress.... execution has to be highly anticipated and awaited...
no no tutles but a calm calm sea... blue... pure blue water.... like none seen or done before as a reality kinda.... n no we din miss ruchi... i learnt to swim a lil... almost came back by truck... crazy nice bus ride... famished idiots... we ate anything that came our way later... an pretty good cheap chindi stuff did come our way... includin some crazy nice cauli flower fry for lik jus 15 bucks a plate.... twas crazy nice amazin fun... jus not the part wer somewhere on the journey i learnt that we had a crazy stupid idiotic assignment due d next day.... stupidity not d word... hahahaha ruchi missed it... i hope she reads this.... but guess she had a pretty good time on her own... dance isn all dat bad... some decent fun too.... tho she wouldv come had she not been pre committed... poor poor her... next time
see commitments are stupid randomly idiotic not worth it at all kinda thing.... waste... mega waste of time... jobless... pointless... not that i actually have much against commitment ironically but jus if u can do witout it i think u rather shud... better off that way accordin to me.... n i also find t difficult to guarantee anythin... so theen commitment becomes even slightly more difficult than it used to be now don u think so too??? u could like almost commit to anythin.. but don think thats commitment now anymore... it ceases to be....
oh n aaron was here.... at d same time that he was sick....at the same time that der was a blood donation drive... n mayb a lot of other same times wit it.... same time that i had to go to kundapura to bring vines bag i left there... the same time i missed t firs time my class tried a class trip to kaup... kapu... but stil was a nice dee tee saturday evenin.... amazin bus trip... udupi lunch... evenin date at basil.... saiba 6 bucks icecream.... kmc greens... dark roads... moon light... technically all these always enjoyable... always enjoyed... jus seems better to introduce someone knew to the best of life kinda thing.... hope there is a repeat decently soon enough...
battle of d bands almost sucked lik crap.... twas horrid serj tankian wannabes which wer major let downs.... tho battle of d dj's was pretty pretty good... especially d first participant ;) ... n random meet up wit people u almost lose contact wit for no reason in particular is fun too... same goes for valentines i guess... could do it again anyday.... n sky birthday parties.... all 3.. china valley aimlessly... valley view valentines... n sky birthday wer like amazin amazin fun... think dee tee saturday pre birthday can be included here too.... somethings like worth lookin forward too also....
jus btw i was at bangalore for a while... n omg i had d time of my life... mcDs, tasted aaaammmmaaaazzzzziiinnnnnnn... shoppin.... french... climate.... people n d lack of knowin em.... nice lookin guys... nice lookin french guy.... a room to myself.... a room wit a balcomy... a room wit a door... a room wit a cosy cosy bed.... a room wit a nice pillow.... a room wit a not big not small surprisingly just d right size bed... a room wit an attached bath... a room all too myself.... a room in an amazin lookin pent house.... wit a nice lookin guy in d house....
and jus d feelin of bein in bangalore... all alone one way of puttin it... cuz dat not entirely true... but not entirely false either... no one knowin u.... don have to think of a thin.... no worries.... jus takin life easy... as it comes... for the moment.. in the present.... a schedule to be followed at d same time.... joblessness.... schudeled humongous amounts of time to roll around in above mentioned bed.... its basically called livin the life... n surprisingly ironic i don think people to too major metropolitans to live a laid back existence but ya maybe thats wut made it better..... would like to do aain... sometime... mayb wit a little company... but t company not longed for... definitely...
and if ur wonderin whether to join ur friends in a place u absolutely detest... join them... people have feelings... places dont... n u can deal wit urs....
maybe its intuition... somethings you just dont question.... ... ... ... i knew i loved u before i met u... i think iv dreamed you into life....
love n luck
ongoing revels '09..... gonna be gettin classes off now... nice..... unfortunately most of our half days are den in any case but still somethin.... anythin... better than nothin... can do wit the extra sleep anyday now who cant???
revel's also caused ruchi to miss turtle bay..... totally not worth missin.... unforgettable...she kinda had pre committed dance to attend to.... that was some class outin.... we don do much of em... tho plannin is in progress.... execution has to be highly anticipated and awaited...
no no tutles but a calm calm sea... blue... pure blue water.... like none seen or done before as a reality kinda.... n no we din miss ruchi... i learnt to swim a lil... almost came back by truck... crazy nice bus ride... famished idiots... we ate anything that came our way later... an pretty good cheap chindi stuff did come our way... includin some crazy nice cauli flower fry for lik jus 15 bucks a plate.... twas crazy nice amazin fun... jus not the part wer somewhere on the journey i learnt that we had a crazy stupid idiotic assignment due d next day.... stupidity not d word... hahahaha ruchi missed it... i hope she reads this.... but guess she had a pretty good time on her own... dance isn all dat bad... some decent fun too.... tho she wouldv come had she not been pre committed... poor poor her... next time
see commitments are stupid randomly idiotic not worth it at all kinda thing.... waste... mega waste of time... jobless... pointless... not that i actually have much against commitment ironically but jus if u can do witout it i think u rather shud... better off that way accordin to me.... n i also find t difficult to guarantee anythin... so theen commitment becomes even slightly more difficult than it used to be now don u think so too??? u could like almost commit to anythin.. but don think thats commitment now anymore... it ceases to be....
oh n aaron was here.... at d same time that he was sick....at the same time that der was a blood donation drive... n mayb a lot of other same times wit it.... same time that i had to go to kundapura to bring vines bag i left there... the same time i missed t firs time my class tried a class trip to kaup... kapu... but stil was a nice dee tee saturday evenin.... amazin bus trip... udupi lunch... evenin date at basil.... saiba 6 bucks icecream.... kmc greens... dark roads... moon light... technically all these always enjoyable... always enjoyed... jus seems better to introduce someone knew to the best of life kinda thing.... hope there is a repeat decently soon enough...
battle of d bands almost sucked lik crap.... twas horrid serj tankian wannabes which wer major let downs.... tho battle of d dj's was pretty pretty good... especially d first participant ;) ... n random meet up wit people u almost lose contact wit for no reason in particular is fun too... same goes for valentines i guess... could do it again anyday.... n sky birthday parties.... all 3.. china valley aimlessly... valley view valentines... n sky birthday wer like amazin amazin fun... think dee tee saturday pre birthday can be included here too.... somethings like worth lookin forward too also....
jus btw i was at bangalore for a while... n omg i had d time of my life... mcDs, tasted aaaammmmaaaazzzzziiinnnnnnn... shoppin.... french... climate.... people n d lack of knowin em.... nice lookin guys... nice lookin french guy.... a room to myself.... a room wit a balcomy... a room wit a door... a room wit a cosy cosy bed.... a room wit a nice pillow.... a room wit a not big not small surprisingly just d right size bed... a room wit an attached bath... a room all too myself.... a room in an amazin lookin pent house.... wit a nice lookin guy in d house....
and jus d feelin of bein in bangalore... all alone one way of puttin it... cuz dat not entirely true... but not entirely false either... no one knowin u.... don have to think of a thin.... no worries.... jus takin life easy... as it comes... for the moment.. in the present.... a schedule to be followed at d same time.... joblessness.... schudeled humongous amounts of time to roll around in above mentioned bed.... its basically called livin the life... n surprisingly ironic i don think people to too major metropolitans to live a laid back existence but ya maybe thats wut made it better..... would like to do aain... sometime... mayb wit a little company... but t company not longed for... definitely...
and if ur wonderin whether to join ur friends in a place u absolutely detest... join them... people have feelings... places dont... n u can deal wit urs....
maybe its intuition... somethings you just dont question.... ... ... ... i knew i loved u before i met u... i think iv dreamed you into life....
love n luck
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