our souls verdict

ze double packed box

2011-12-21T06:42:00.000-08:00

I was thinking of this book I once got for Christmas from our neighbours, the Christmas Box. It used to be one of my favourites then. Slow and cold, and seemingly light till the story picks up pace. It seemed relaxed for the holidays but I never seem to ever remember the story's twist really when I decide to tell someone about it.

My Christmas box. I think it is the most interested I have ever been in anything even vaguely related to Christmas. The random thought inception when I was first browsing in a shop running an errand for mum, thereafter mentally rethinking the various facets and finally going back to the shop the next day to finally make my pick. But before that, this night shall be spent making a Christmas card to add to the personal touch.

Th next day at the shop, picking out the right one from all the ones that are exactly the same is quite a task in itself. Looking for flaws, colour combinations, and simply keeping in mind the possible thoughts of the recipient, quite a mind-balancing task I would say. Even picking the gift wrap should be symbolic of something.

I'm all ready to go to the post office and then I catch a glimpse of this card with a very nice envelope. Then I realise that the rest of the card my be used to decorate the envelope. I must say, I desperately miss my stationary collection. But the icing on the cake is the next greeting card I find to cut up!

All in all, I hope it was worth the 1 and a half hour wait in that long line at the post office. ;)

On another note, yet another kid from my colony is getting married. I remember playing with these guys in the evenings in the 5th and 6th standard. Cycling in the compound, playing this game called 'Arty-Party' (till now I still don' know why that game was called that). Oh, while we are on this topic, when I was a kid I made a new game and called it snakes! Something to do with a box with many lines and a person who was supposed to catch everyone within the outer box area while only moving along the lines. Here I shall take the liberty to say, in my opinion, I have always been very innovative especially when it comes down to new products for an even active market.

Anyhow, as I was saying, 2 kids in my colony are getting married, and I think they both barely graduated when I was in 2nd year. Now I am in 4th year, guess I'll get married when other people who are now in 1st reach their 4th year! :S

Tomorrow onward, my online time shall be very scarce, I absolutely dislike Goa.

love n luck

ze apparent winner! :S

2011-10-21T08:33:00.000-07:00

I don't wanna talk
About the things we've gone through
Though it's hurting me
Now it's history
I've played all my cards
And that's what you've done too
Nothing more to say
No more ace to play

The winner takes it all
The loser's standing small
Beside the victory
That's a destiny

I was in your arms
Thinking I belonged there
I figured it made sense
Building me a fence
Building me a home
Thinking I'd be strong there
But I was a fool
Playing by the rules

The gods may throw a dice
Their minds as cold as ice
And someone way down here
Loses someone dear
The winner takes it all
The loser has to fall
It's simple and it's plain
Why should I complain.

But tell me does she kiss
Like I used to kiss you?
Does it feel the same
When she calls your name?
Somewhere deep inside
You must know I miss you
But what can I say
Rules must be obeyed

The judges will decide
The likes of me abide
Spectators of the show
Always stay in love
The game is on again
A lover or a friend
A big thing or a small
The winner takes it all

I don't wanna talk
If it makes you feel sad
And I understand
You've come to shake my hand
I apologize
If it makes you feel bad
Seeing me so tense
No self-confidence
But you see
The winner takes it all
The winner takes it all...

love n luck

ze yellow

2011-10-17T19:39:00.000-07:00

and now no one will know,
when I put in a row...
Madhuri Dixit,
Kangana Ranaut,
Sridevi!
ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
;)

love n luck

these times may be the first, but they're never the last!

ze 7th

2011-10-13T19:10:00.000-07:00

The thing about fourth year is...

There is always something to talk about! And no gossip can beat this!

Love n luck

ze decipher

2011-10-09T05:06:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I forget how beautiful u are!

love n luck

ze if only

2011-10-08T12:24:00.000-07:00

its jus a smiley...
thats all it wil ever be
jus a smiley

i soooooooooooooooooooooooo badly need a friend
its sad

love n luck

Ps. for d record, the episode is called 'The Perfect Couple'

ze catastrophe

2011-10-08T06:59:00.000-07:00

As usual, I never reach Bangalore as early as I would like to be there. It just seems so impossible that I dunno how everyone else seems to manage it with such ease. Not even a tiny hint of a clue! Besides Bangalore, I'm pretty much done here. I'm at the same place I was a little while ago and the only thing I recognize is confusion. And I cannot work with confusion. My mind is so cluttered, my day is a mess, I cant even wake up and feel good about it. My cute little tragedy. Fun-sized you could call it!

Anyway, GRE was good! Math was decent! I knew complete vocab of whatsoever they decided to ask! Life seemed just like I wanted it to be. But then again, who am I kidding.... GRE was a joke! Math was decent! Vocab was great! Verbal was 380-480!

After GRE was the best time I've ever spent in B'lore. >> Notice how I so conveniently skip forward the tragic part I've but beating myself up over for the last few days yet it's worse when it's in writing yeah, so fast forwarding, >> ! As far as i reckon, all my B'lore trips have been way better than I expect them to be! My B'lore trips in all it's entirety have been absolutely mind-blowing... And I only use this term very very literally! ;)

I don't recall whether I blogged about Bangalore before :S it has always been my favorite vacation! I always meet someone I don't know there... And that's the crazy part about it... There are soooooooooooo many people I don't know there and yet so many for that very amount of unknown people, exactly that many people I will always remember. Who would've thought? ;)

The informality. The lack of casual stuff. The sudden unexpected turn of events. The I-could-be-lost-and-I-wouldn't-even-know-it! The malls... The crosses... The blocks... The apparent circles... Phew!

The thing about B'lore... Is belonging... YOU JUST NEVER WILL!!!!!!!

It's good! It's the best you could think of in ever... It's the whore you keep coming back for... And its crazy to fall in love with someone like that! It's the best and the worst ever! She'll give you all she's got but she'll never be just yours! She'll try everything in her power to make sure you've never seen better, but even at your happiest you cant let go of the thought that you have to let go!

You've never seen her looking so lovely as she did that night,
You've never seen her looking so gorgeous as she did that night,
You've never seen her shine so bright,
You've never seen her shine so bright. She was amazing!

You have never seen that dress she's wearing,
Or the highlights in her head that catch her eyes, you have been blind.
You've never seen so many men ask her if she wanted to dance,
They're looking for a little romance, given half a chance.
You've never seen so many people want to be there by her side,
And when she turned to you and smiled, it took your breath away.
You have never had such a feeling,
Such a feeling of complete and utter love, as you did that night.

You want to dream she is dancing with you,
There's nobody here, it's just her and you,
It's where you wanna be!
But you hardly know this beauty by your side.
You'll never forget, the way she looks tonight,
The way she looks tonight,
You never will forget, the way she looks tonight!

It's confusion, it's delusion, it's Stanford! But you cant let go!

Because dinner and a movie just wont do, ever... But sometimes starters and a trailer might be your only wish tonight.

So, are you free tonight?
Please, please be.
And then maybe a little later I can say,

"Are we done yet?

'Cause I'm through!"

love n luck

ze paparazzi

2011-10-04T01:36:00.000-07:00

Issue or argument? How do you define the difference? To judge or not to judge? To become oblivious to it all...

I hope I remember, I want to post once I'm back from Bangalore!

love n all-the-best-of-luck

ze 14

2011-10-03T01:29:00.000-07:00

As credit to my last post...

To think, 14 is all the mistakes, all the accomplishments! Everything I've got right this year! Everything that will be irreparable! For love, with the hope of luck!!! It's 14!

Now would I want to write 14 things about 14?
Would I curtail it to 4 good, and 1 bad, for what it's worth?
Would numerology define it?

Maybe I'll settle with, why should two digits signify any thing?

love n luck

ze things that will never be

2011-10-02T01:07:00.000-07:00

The things that will never be... AGAIN..

The things that will never be. Wishful thinking. Hope. An excuse to live life yet another day. To wake up today and realize, world peace exists, you can teleport, the person asleep next to you will always have the same affection and love for you and you'd never have a disagreement ever, your on vacation-with absolutely nothing to think about-not even pondering the mysteries of the universe, you never have to slam the door again, you never have to give up in the middle of a text message conversation and say let time do it's thing.

No. There are no lyrics for every mood. There is no song for every situation. Lets rephrase. There shouldn't be! People may self introspect, melody induced, time and time again, but do they ever learn to live with themselves? Do they ever master the art of not saying, "I wish I...!"

Today I might wish I knew 6 years ago as much as I know now. Though, almost all of what I know now, I can proudly credit to experience. A few things I can credit to other peoples experience, though does that certify me to still say that my word on the subject should be most trusted. An then again, if I did learn all of this then, what about saturation? Understanding and the ability to comprehend? Psychology?

Time is an illusion. Time is a dimension. Time is a frame, time is a plane. Planes do not possess the attribute of width, though they can extend, without limit, in length and breadth. Any point in a plane can be defined by a co-ordinate. This is relative to the axes of the plane. A single point on one plane, can also be a point on an infinite number of planes. Please tell me again, what is time?

Whoever thought, there might be a longer list than that of the things I'll never say...

Whoever thought, there might be a post on 'ze things that will never be' and not one line in that post would begin to describe any of my aspirations of what I would want, to be!

love and luck

Ps. Can we say for sure, that in the entire existence of space, the sun has seemingly traveled the same path, or even part of the same path twice?
Space is a dimension.

ze picture ive could never put in words as almost perfectly...

2011-09-02T08:40:00.000-07:00

The lamp! The couch concept!!

The scene from the bedroom!!! Complete with color scheme!!!!
Ps. Ignore everything else but the pure color scheme and the view! The I-never-want-to-leave-this-room-ever view. The one that makes you feel just how you need to feel when you need to feel like that. The one that cures, and calms, and capriciously keeps you entertained while feeling like you own the world. It's the grey in life!

The perfect living room!!!!! And just the right bed for the previous bedroom!!!!!!

And a guest bedroom, just for the heck of it... I'll update with the balcony when I find the one I can so beautifully picture in my head... For temporary reference and just a vague idea, Pretty Woman

For the best there can be...

love n luck

ze lack of milk

2011-08-31T23:55:00.000-07:00

Hello world,

Hope you're listening... Forgive me if I'm young or speaking out of turn but there's someone I've been missing. I think that they can be the better half of me... They're not in the wrong place but they are trying to make it right... So i say to you, COME HOME, cause I've been waiting for you for too long... It's about time...

Love n luck

ze superbity

2011-05-26T00:05:00.000-07:00

http://nedhardy.com/2011/03/10/34-cleverly-designed-inventions/

love n luck

ze old

2011-05-24T23:59:00.000-07:00

I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house, that don't bother me
I can take a few tears now and then and just let them out
I'm not afraid to cry
Every once in a while even though goin on with you gone still upsets me
There are days
Every now and again I pretend I'm OK but that's not what gets me

What hurts the most, was being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
Never knowing, what could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was trying to do

It's hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go
But I'm doing it
It's hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I'm alone
Still harder gettin up, gettin dressed, living with this regret
But I know if I could do it over
I would trade, give away all the words that I saved in my heart that I left unspoken

What hurts the most, was being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
Never knowing, what could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was trying to do

I'm not afraid to cry
Every once in a while even though goin on with you gone still upsets me
There are days
Every now and again I pretend I'm OK but that's not what gets me

funny ain't it? always...

love n luck

ze inbox

2011-05-08T02:18:00.001-07:00

You might want to wonder how agitating that reply might be.. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .

love n luck

ze inbox

2011-05-08T02:18:00.000-07:00

You might want to wonder how agitating that reply might be.. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .

love n luck

ze finality

2011-05-07T23:11:00.000-07:00

i know you love all three of us the same,
i also know you like him more than us!

love n luck

ze inbox

2011-05-07T02:18:00.000-07:00

You might want to wonder how agitating that reply might be.. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .

love n luck

ze bassist

2011-05-06T09:45:00.001-07:00

its disappointing loving someone who's going to keep letting you down n its jus sad when they think your d one screwing around, til u actually do!

love n luck

ze 123

2011-04-30T02:33:00.000-07:00

i am letting mum and dad down like it's the easiest thing in the world... i have shortage of attendance in one subject and so i have to stay for two months here in the summer when they would prefer having me at home and i have to redo the entire subject all over again. and it costs like 7 grand!!!!!! i have been staying out a couple of times from the hostel which also i am not supposed to be doing really. mum and dad have pretty much been giving me everything i really need and i haven't been doing much to return the favor or even minutely appreciate it. i even missed final lab exam and i have no clue what i can or am supposed to do about it but its a very very very big issue, it is the finals after all... and to top it of, as much as i would like to not keep messing up over and over and over again i somehow seem to be getting really good at it. i have never failed so miserably at anything before, and i cant even seem to get remotely on track. this is not even bad, its beyond awful... i dont submit assignments at all sometimes and the ones i do give in are late... the entire point of me being here seems pretty lost if studying is not what i am doing. and i am doing nothing else either. probably just sleep and randomly aimlessly roaming about the place.. and the lab exam i didn't give.. i am amazing at that subject, or at least i think so. i don't know what to do. i don't think anyone does. i might randomly know what the right thing to do might be but i have no clue how to do it and i keep getting farther away from it than i could possibly get to it...

tell mum i love her ok?

love n luck

ze day before tomorrow

2011-04-07T21:22:00.000-07:00

Hullo,

Its been a while.. Thank you for the prayers and thoughts... And when I say it's been a while, I barely even realized it's been 5 years, now that you mention it.. I think I remember the last birthday you spent with us and the farewell when you were quite upset to be leaving. But I presume, you don't think it's all that bad anymore and you probably actually like it there!
Well, I like it here too, but I don't exactly think I could say all is well with me. Been doing pretty horribly at college and barely even been going to class, and further, it doesn't seem to bother me so much, so then the situation is being taken even further lightly. No inspiration, motivation, determination, energy... At the moment, 4 years to study a course seems like its not worth completing in one sitting. Let's see how it goes and turn of events if any. Kind of a sad way to start a new year in a way but cant guarantee anything now can we so my birthday wish shall be one which cannot fail - I'll hope something works out, it always does, just how long it takes to get there is the question.

Love n luck

ze inception

2011-01-02T05:29:00.000-08:00

It all takes work... So you either do the work or you get out!!

We are not looking for the meaning of life... We are searching for the feeling of life!

love n luck

ze end at the beginning

2011-01-01T11:11:00.000-08:00

You held my hand and then you slipped away
And I may never see your face again
So tell me how do to fill the emptiness inside
Without love, what is life?

And anyone who knew us both can see
We always were the better part of me
I never wanted to be this free
All this pain, does it go away?

Then every time I turn around
And you're nowhere to be found
I know I got a long, long way to go
Before I can say goodbye to you
Oh, I got a long, long way I know
Before I can say goodbye to all I ever knew
To you, to you

From memory, there is no hiding place
In every crowd there's always someone with your face
Everywhere, trying not to care

Then every time I turn around
And you're nowhere to be found
I know I got a long, long way to go
Before I can say goodbye to you
Oh, I got a long, long way I know
Before I can say goodbye to all I ever knew

To you, I wish you everythin'
And all the best that life can bring
I only hope you think of me sometimes, oh
And even though I feel the pain
I know that I will love again
The time will come, oh, and I'll move on

I got a long, long way to go
Before I can say goodbye to you
Oh, I got a long, long way to go, got a long way I know
Before I can say goodbye, before I say goodbye
To all I ever knew, to all I ever knew
I got a long, I got a long, long way to go, long way to go
Before I can say, before I say, goodbye to you
Say goodbye, say goodbye
Oh, I got a long, long way I know
Before I can say goodbye to all I ever knew
Girl, I wish you the best I know, oh and all of the rest, to you
I got a long, long way to go
Before I can say goodbye to you

bye bye bye

love n luck

ze 31122010

2010-12-31T21:43:00.000-08:00

Candy Floss... Filet o'Fish... Ice Gola... Cheese!!

Last sunset of the year 18.07hrs,

Home alone bringing in the new year with Gregory House. Fun ain't it...

I usually never see the sunset. Thought this year should be different. Thought I should actually get down to doing things I found really stupid and nonsensical quite pointlessly. The sunset was pretty good. The year will be...???????

This is my 24th post of the year!! The inverted number of my usual 42! Guess that would be pretty self explanatory of my year gone by! No words needed!

love n luck

ze coincidence

2010-12-30T00:15:00.000-08:00

Can we pretend that airplanes
In the night sky
Are like shooting stars? (Shooting Stars)
I could really use a wish right now (Wish right now)
Wish right now (Wish right now)
Wish right now (Wish right now)
Can we pretend that airplanes
In the night sky
Are like shooting stars? (Shooting Stars)
I could really use a wish right now (Wish right now)
Wish right now (Wish right now)
Wish right now (Wish right now)

love n luck

ze traffic lights

2010-12-28T10:19:00.000-08:00

'I hate traffic jams'
'It's not a jam, the red light is on'
'I hate waiting, it makes no sense at all'
*pure silence*
*end of conversation*
*mind process: the implications of awaiting life*
*most traffic lights or stops are self created. self referring to the core of the human race. humans being logical beings probably reasoned out the requirement of such a discipline. so someone somewhere down the line thought that traffic lights were essential to everyday human life.*
*throughout our day we have decisions abound and each decision we make is either stepping on the brakes or pumping the gas. and since our day voluntarily or not consists of a lot of people we don't even seem to realize, passing us by, there are way too many dimensions to consider and to maintain to get through the day sane. Thus, the traffic lights are like time out signals, everyone needs a break, rest is inevitable.*
*though this is not the driving force somehow. everyone waits for the weekend, but no one waits for the traffic light. maybe its the way its marketed. maybe its the anticipation. maybe its the collision of dimensions. but what makes it truly different? the concept and logic seems to be the same, but why is it approached so irrationally and illogically? a mind set to be irritated with even the mention of a just-around-the-corner.*
*mind process adjourned. mind process experiencing logic system difficulty. mind process retiring for the day to embrace another with wisdom of 24!*

love n luck

ze exhibition

2010-12-27T03:20:00.000-08:00

Once upon a time in a land nearby, where times and tides weren't the same as they are now, there used to be the occasional town market, where people from far and wide used to promptly arrive to check out the humble merchants wares. It was enthusiasm and awe abound. Flying carpets and shape shifters, climbing water and ferocious animals frozen in stone. Everyone was anxious to see the new object of the year. The one that would amaze and leave you star struck.
But then as time passed, the tease got to one and all. The magic was never affordable and it was torturous to stand and stare. The crowds started to reduce and flock away, leaving the merchants at the height of dismay. Soon, the excitement, the hype died down, and as the years passed by, the visitors to the fare grew weary by the day.
Today if you take a walk down the same road, the merchants sit amongst their goods dreaming of the days that were and the atmosphere, welcoming no doubt, lacks the spark that once drew crowds and crowds. Interaction happens only on insisting, and talk is small an dreary.
It is the change of season. It is the time to go home. It is the time to drive your sword in to the ground and walk home with the white flag covering your back.

love n luck

ze Xperia X10 vs Standard Battery BST-33

2010-12-26T04:21:00.000-08:00

Also known as Sony Ericsson Robyn

General 2G Network GSM 850 / 900 / 1800 / 1900
3G Network HSDPA 900 / 2100
HSDPA 850 / 1900 / 2100
Announced 2010, February

Status Available. Released 2010, May

Size Dimensions 83 x 50 x 16 mm
Weight 88 g

Display Type TFT capacitive touchscreen, 16M colors (65K effective)
Size 240 x 320 pixels, 2.55 inches
- Scratch-resistant surface
- Accelerometer sensor for UI auto-rotate
- Timescape UI

Sound Alert types Vibration, MP3 ringtones

Speakerphone Yes
- 3.5 mm audio jack

Memory Phonebook Practically unlimited entries and fields, Photocall
Call records Practically unlimited
Internal 128MB
Card slot microSD, up to 16GB, 2GB included
Data GPRS Up to 85.6 kbps

EDGE Up to 236.8 kbps
3G HSDPA, 7.2 Mbps; HSUPA, 2 Mbps
WLAN Wi-Fi 802.11b/g
Bluetooth Yes, v2.0 with A2DP, EDR
Infrared port No
USB Yes, v2.0 microUSB

Camera Primary 5 MP, 2592х1944 pixels, autofocus, LED flash, check quality
Features Geo-tagging
Video Yes, VGA@30fps, video light

Features OS Android OS 1.6 (Donut), upgradable to Android 2.1 (Eclair)
CPU Qualcomm MSM7227 600MHz

Messaging SMS (threaded view), MMS, Email, Push email, IM

Browser HTML

Radio Stereo FM radio with RDS

Colors Gold, Pearl White, Black, Pink, Lime, Red, Silver

GPS Yes, with A-GPS support

Java Yes, via third-party application
- MP4/H.263/H.264/WMV player
- MP3/eAAC+/WMA/WAV player
- Google Search, Maps, Gmail, YouTube, Calendar, Google Talk
- Google Voice Search (market dependent)
- Digital compass
- TrackID music recognition
- Document viewer
- Voice memo
- Predictive text input

Battery Standard battery, Li-Po 950 mAh
Stand-by Up to 285 h (2G) / Up to 360 h (3G)
Talk time Up to 4 h (2G) / Up to 3 h 30 min (3G)

for now i think i shall stick with the battery

love n luck

ze authority

2010-12-25T01:05:00.000-08:00

Information is power

And that my dear friend is how you learn to manipulate people.
Eavesdropping is an art!

love n luck

ze santa

2010-12-24T04:03:00.000-08:00

All I want for Christmas, is, YOU!

love n luck,
this time I need it if I really want my Christmas gift!

ze season's greetings

2010-12-23T13:29:00.000-08:00

It's amazing how I can never seem to loive in Bombay these days. I barely reach here and I want to get back. And the more surprising part is when I so innocently and unknowingly refer to getting back as to get home. Bombay doesn't seem like home anymore. It now seems like a mere obligation to not bite the hand that feeds you. It's sad when life is reduced to this. Think it marks the coming of the end of the world. It definitely should be somewhere around the corner if even during Christmas people realize the only way to be happy and to enjoy the festive season is to pretend like nothing wrong ever happens anyway. And Manohar Pai talks about masks.

I think I know exactly why I don't like staying here anymore but 1 thing I've not put into place exactly is my lethargy and lack of enthusiasm to socialize with people I would normally refer to as pretty good friends. At the moment nothing at all seems to matter in any way whatsoever. The food is not good. I meet only people I do not share strong emotional attachments with. I'm becoming more and more distant from the only person I willingly care about without a doubt... And it's Christmas time, what more could be reason enough!!!!

This might be the first of many,
I shall not bore you already!

love n luck

ze whiney

2010-12-22T23:25:00.001-08:00

love n luck

ze vineeeee

2010-12-22T23:24:00.002-08:00

We used to have this figured out;
We used to breathe without a doubt.
When nights were clear, you were the first star that I'd see.
We used to have this under control.
We never thought.
We used to know.
At least there's you, and at least there's me.
Can we get this back?
Can we get this back to how it used to be? Yeah.
To how it used to be.
To how it used to be, yeah.
To how it used to be.
To how it used to be.

ze vineeee

2010-12-22T23:24:00.001-08:00

You used to talk to me like
I was the only one around,
The only one around.

ze vineee

2010-12-22T23:23:00.002-08:00

I look around me,
And I want you to be there
'Cause I miss the things that we shared.
Look around you.
It's empty, and you're sad
'Cause you miss the love that we had.

ze vinee

2010-12-22T23:23:00.001-08:00

I used to reach for you when
I got lost along the way.
I used to listen.
You always had just the right thing to say.
I used to follow you.
Never really cared where we would go,
Fast or slow, to anywhere at all.

We used to have this figured out;
We used to breathe without a doubt.
When nights were clear, you were the first star that I'd see.
We used to have this under control.
We never thought.
We used to know.
At least there's you, and at least there's me.
Can we get this back?
Can we get this back to how it used to be?

ze vine

2010-12-22T23:22:00.001-08:00

You used to talk to me like
I was the only one around.
You used to lean on me like
The only other choice was falling down.
You used to walk with me like
We had nowhere we needed to go,
Nice and slow, to no place in particular.

We used to have this figured out;
We used to breathe without a doubt.
When nights were clear, you were the first star that I'd see.
We used to have this under control.
We never thought.
We used to know.
At least there's you, and at least there's me.
Can we get this back?
Can we get this back to how it used to be?

ze holiday

2010-12-10T04:54:00.000-08:00

Just the other day I was thinking to myself. I actually like Manipal. And the time I like it most is when no one is around. No agenda. No semester. Pre sem or post sem. Windows with the lights turned out so much so that you can count the degree of civilization. Kc so empty that you have things to complain about when the new batch of first years are here!! Its you and yourself. Its when clarity of mind and you can walk hand in hand. When peace and solace don't seem like the light at the END of the tunnel. 'Cause like technically here you're either out of the tunnel or just getting in to it. And man this tunnel has had the most random memories so far! I can, for the first time since I've got here, say, "Thank God it's over!!!"

Ps. Il be in Manipal till the 20th of december, I'll explain to you why that's just the best thing in the world!! :) :D

Pss. I can't in any way whatsoever take a let down if these holidays fail! And it's not in my hands. When is it ever?

ze ratio

2010-12-09T04:51:00.000-08:00

Life is ten percent what you make it and ninety percent how you take it!

love n luck

ze bedazzlement

2010-12-06T06:21:00.000-08:00

no words needed!!!

love n luck

ze vacuu

2010-12-03T08:34:00.000-08:00

Filtration is a echanical or physical operation which is used for the separation of solids fro fluids (liquids or gases) by interposing a ediu through which only the fluid can pass. Oversize solids in the fluid are retained, but the separation is not complete; solids will be containated with soe fluid and filtrate will contain fine particles (depending on the pore size and filter thickness).

And it breaks her heart to think that she gave her love to a an who's hands are cold as ice!

Even if an M is issing, it's always whats written between the lines.

love n luck

ze answers

2010-12-03T03:45:00.000-08:00

can i sleep on your tongue, its just like you licking me up?
who hasn't heard of the smurfs?
small blue people?
yet another coffee?
changed password?
why are you mercury?
what happened? again?
how much done?
where is my mind?
was i actually addicted to that?
how would you define the rate of time?
should we exchange bikes? my one is new and yours isn't?
who wrote that song?
did you check it out lately?
waiting for sun down is it?
are you actually licking of the remnants in your cup?
how rich is your college? they are on tv?
why aren't the speed breakers here anymore?
who washes buildings anyway?
how is this pen writing so light?
didn't they say they were eco-friendly?
WHERE IS THAT SMILE GONE?

Issues now open. Apply at your convenience.

love n luck

ze friend

2010-12-02T02:24:00.000-08:00

The Pavement

Every step she moved,
Every breath she took...
He moved with her,
He breathed with her...

And when the night got lonely,
And when she was down...
Only he stood around,
Gazing over the wall...

He was this lurking figure,
She had a dark soul.
Her mind, her rival, her constant fight,
She needed a friend, her friend.

But he only stalked,
Stood and stared from afar.
Watching her break open,
Seeing her shatter.

Day by day went by,
Mindful explosions nearby.
Nowhere to turn to,
No place to run to.

Crashing in to all,
A thousand things a minute,
Ten thousand directions from,
All till every touch is numbingly cold.

Knowingly betrayed by an unknown traitor,
Illusion built the very foundation.
Unusual operational advantage,
Repelling attractive forces.
This tomorrow might never have started ever,
If punctuality was the key to existence,
Abused, vulnerable, naive, suave,
He was her friend, many times before.

Torn apart,
Detonated in to smithereens.
He has to go now,
He cannot stay.

The mind - A battle she can never win,
The boy - The dark shadow, lingering.
Through me, through it, through her,
Now called her shadow.

love n luck

ze ness

2010-11-30T21:09:00.000-08:00

Cuteness + Sweetness = Pure Awesomeness

Po: There is no charge for awesomeness... or attractiveness.
Po: It is said that his enemies would go blind from over-exposure to pure awesomeness!
Kung Fu Panda

love n luck

ze riddle

2010-10-17T08:13:00.000-07:00

Stuff happens, everyday,
Some days more than usual,
Some days insignificantly,
But coupled with emotions too,
Then those are the days we get screwed through and through!

I got two strong arms, blessings of babylon,
with time to carry on and try
for sins and false alarms
so to america the brave

wise men save
near a tree by a river
there's a hole in the ground
where an old man of aran
goes around and around
and his mind is a beacon
in the veil of the night
for a strange kind of fashion
there's a wrong and a right
but he'll never, never fight over you

i got plans for us
nights in the scullery
and days instead of me
i only know what to discuss
of for anything but light
wise men fighting over you

it's not me you see
pieces of valentine
with just a song of mine
to keep from burning history
seasons of gasoline and gold

wise men fold
i got time to kill
sly looks in corridors
without a plan of yours
a blackbird sings on bluebird hill
thanks to the calling of the wild wise mens child.

love n luck

ze chance or choice

2010-10-15T22:54:00.000-07:00

When we meet the right person to love when we're at the right place
at the right time,
That's chance.
When you meet someone you're attracted to, that's not a choice.
That's chance.
Being caught up in a moment (and there's a lot of couples who get together because of this) is not a choice.
That's also a chance.
The difference is what happens afterwards. When will you take that infatuation, that crush, that mind-blowing attraction to the next level?
That's when all sanity goes back, you sit down and contemplate
Whether you want to make this a concrete relationship or just a fling?
If you decide to love a person, even with his faults, that's not a chance.
That's choice.
When you choose to be with a person, no matter what, that's choice.
Even if you know there are many people out there who are more attractive, smarter, and richer than your mate, and yet, you decide
To love your mate just the same, that's choice.
Infatuation, crushes, attraction comes to us by chance.
But true love that lasts is truly a choice.
A choice made by us.
Regarding soul mates, there's a beautiful movie quote that I believe
is so true: " Fate brings you together, but it's still up to you to make it happen."
I believe that soul mates do exist.
That there is truly someone made for you. But it's still up to you to make the choice if you're going to do something about it or not.
We may meet our soul mates by chance, but loving and staying with them is still a choice we have to make.
We came to the world not by finding someone perfect to love...
BUT to learn how to love an imperfect person perfectly...

love n luck

love n luck (for the previous post!)

ze storm

2010-04-21T08:09:00.000-07:00

Its been a while… and more so since I think I stopped writing cos I would repeat somethings just so often in a day that there was no need anymore to reveal my history to the universe… guess im slacking on my typing too… it’s really been a while!
Today in fact as I was walking to class, this thought struck me. I was considering what manipal roads would be lik, the one joining kc to mit via campus store at least, so yeah I was wondering what the road would be like if they just allowed all the dead leaves and fallen flowers to just stay like that and the sweepers would pick up only the trash which some idiots decid to leave behind after being educated to quite a vast extent I would say!!!
Besides that, I was reminded today of how relationships make you miss out on a lot of things. And I had considered that thought earlier but as I wouldn’t really get down to even considering doing them I just banished those ideas.. well actually I might have landed up considering them but still the extent to which I would go wouldn be much as there is still a lot of ground work to be done. So today when someone mentioned the thought of a relationship holding me back from trying my hand at it got me thinking of whether it was true and I would actually have done more about it… I reached back to where I started initially but overall I think I wont really know till I try. And in my opinion, the sky isn’t the limit!
I cant believe I actually ran down to wish someone for their birthday just for a slice of cake… and to top it off, it didn’t even taste that great after all… it’s a really sad, however understandable a thing, that CCD cakes taste frickin horrid outside of their café! Why, why would anyone do that… the stupid idiots!
Though I think the exact thing that I cant get out off my head is the whole long distance concept… we shall now discuss it from all angles and frontiers:
Everyone needs physical contact sometime or the other whatever may be the situation, sometimes amazing conversations just aren’t enough!
Time is money. The ‘time’ you spend with each other be it on a phone, the internet, telegram… they all cost.
The time filter… as we refer to the previous point it also comes to mind that in order for us to maintain a balance of both time and money, are conversations are never complete.
The expectation factor-well we’ll just say, its still an expectation.
The other couples everywhere. And the missing. And the what ifs. And the miss some more. And the im sure we’ll be like that when we see each other next. And then how the other couples when looking for support against their single friends or ‘other-halves’ turn to you for your opinion cos technically your experienced too and then on goes the day dreaming and the reminders.
Loyalty. Open relationships. Envy and jealousy.
The break up. And everyone is so sure had they have been together, that break up just wouldn’t have happened, not for those reasons at least.

It rained today. Not for too long but after an approximate 5 and half hour lab exam with the promise of no less then 3 hrs more the next day, it rained today! And before that, the storm, well it blew leaves off roofs and twirled those on the ground 1 floor high. The dust was blinding me on the second floor!
And as I walked out of the building, and walked out into the world again, I glanced out on to the road and it was layered with yellowing leaves and fallen flowers and little cotton puffs and tiny seeds.

Guess those will be swept of tomorrow!

ze song

2009-08-25T01:24:00.000-07:00

TIME IS ZERO

See the streets darken by night
See the clouds turn out the light
But the steps do lead somewhere
The footprints are always there
All the dreams are here to stay
When hope has lost its way
And I'll beeeee there
You know you want me too...
You know you do!

See the mind ferment the thoughts
See the ambitions rot
But the nag doesn't resolve itself
Conscience never sleeps
And the drain is clogged again
The force unbearable when
Yet the game has begun
Alongside I shall run
You know you want me too...
You know you do!

See the white ribbon, the finish line
See the purity, tranquility, divine
But do not force the exit
Bliss ain't thy name but for someone it is
Te sun may not shine through
But the shadows might even out
And I'll wait for you, I'll wait, I'll wait, I will.
And I'll be there to cut the fall for you,
I once fell too...

love n luck

11th August, 2009

ze colors

2009-08-24T09:37:00.000-07:00

CALCULATIONS

The colors,
They inspire us,
They call out to us,
All to see the world differently.

The sounds,
They shout louder so we can hear them,
Yelling, one more vocal than the other,
All to hear the world differently.

Music, art, tunes, scenes,
It's never what you see or hear is it?
Do you hear me now?
Do you see?

Look deep...
A little further,
Make a wish,
Picturesque and loud,
Now let it float and develop dreams of it's own.

Just as a bottle sails the seas for centuries,
And fish swim forever,
Let it go,
If it returns, it's yours,
If it doesn't, it never was.

Determination, motivation,
Self-belief, self-confidence,
Or maybe just hope in humanity.
Do you hear me?
I love you too!

love n luck

22nd August, 2009

ze big bad world doesn’t owe you a thing

2009-08-24T01:07:00.000-07:00

Some call it sick, I call it weak

The color drains
The faces fade
The leaves fall
Doesn’t everyone leave…?
One and all

It’s not now that it once was
There’s always a start
But maybe that isn’t the dawn that’s to come
Doesn’t’ everyone leave?
One and all

Keep on running
Keep on running
Learn to be still
Doesn’t everyone leave?
One and all

And just before the fall
One of these nights
One of these crazier days
When the wicked world is just too nefarious
And you’re just so far out of reach
I’m at home with the feeling
But why does it surprise me every time you go away

And I’ll still be here
Waiting, that’s what I do
Just wait for you.

Every time you go away
Every time you go away
Every time you go
Away

I love you
I miss you
It’s what you taught me
I want to disappear too
That you left me illiterate to
It’s what you did to my soul

love n luck

ze masochism

2009-08-22T23:38:00.000-07:00

Let Her Go.

I guess it's just me being honest more than anything else, I just don't want to waste anyone's time.

It's really hard to give up things that you really want, but know that they are better left untouched and unknown.
I would give you everything if I knew how, if I had anything left to give.

I'm still just waiting to be swept off my feet.

To ler her go, ler her go
Let her fall let her fly
She wants to touch the world with her own hands
Let her go, let her go
Let her love and let her cry
If you trust her soon you both will understand
She'll come back home if you let her go

Going back and forth inside my shut up brain again
(You gotta let her go, gotta let her go)
Worlds apart, I'm torn apart, I'll stall up my senses
(You gotta let her go, gotta let her go)
Somehow through it all we've become defenseless
(You gotta let her go, gotta let her go)
I'm living this lie and I can't pretend
(You gotta let her go, gotta let her go)

And I know I'll get that feeling when we meet again
And I know I will be stronger in the end

I think I'm gonna lose my mind
'Cause I don't wanna say goodbye [x2]

Now we realize the compromises you and I
(You gotta let her go, gotta let her go)
You fell from heaven to heartbreak in the blink of an eye

Why don't you just keep it real
Let her know just how you feel
If you love her let her go, her go
When you met her it was good
You did everything you could
If you love her let her go, her go

You were her only girl
The most precious thing in her world
And I know it makes you cry
That you never got to say goodbye

You were just running out of time
To say what was on your mind
You never wanted her to leave
And mom I know it makes you grief

But why don't you celebrate the moments that you shared yeah
'Cuz now she's watching over you
It's true
And you know it too

Just let her go...
If you can't take the pain
Of a broken heart
Just let her go...

Another sleepless night
I'm still starin' at the ceiling
I can hear him fighting
With her for no good reason
Will this ever end?
Will this house be a home again?

If I had my way
I'd corner him and say
Put yourself in her position
All she needs is recognition
Love's not enough when you say it
Don't you know you've gotta mean it
Screwing up the best thing ever
Is something you'll regret forever

Another day goes by and nothing changed
He's still the same
I can hear her cryin
Thinking she's the one to blame
Will this ever end?
Will this house be a home again?

When you see love
And you don't know what it is
You might find yourself in fear
To show your heart
But when you feel is
And it's oh, so wonderful
You might find yourself in fear
To let it part, in fear to let it part

So hold her closer when she cries
Hold her closer when she feels
She needs a hand to hold
Someone who'll never let her go again
And hold him closer when he tries
To hold the tears back from his eyes
Don't say goodbye

There's so many things you should have told her
But night after night you're willing to hold her,
Just hold her tears on your shoulder.

There's so many things you should have told her
But night after night you're willing to hold her,
Just hold her tears on your shoulder.

There's so many things you should have told her
But night after night you're willing to hold her,
Just hold her tears on your shoulder.

love n luck

ze isle

2009-08-14T01:23:00.000-07:00

There's a whole world off this island.
All it takes is one long swim

too start over.

love n luck

ze hope

2009-08-13T06:40:00.000-07:00

Too many good things happening
to waste a second of it.

"Someday I'll meet you on a telephone wire
Won't have to love you through a prayer
I can just touch you with my eyes
And we will talk about the world just as if we were still alive
And you will rest within my feathers
And I will take you for the keeping"

love n luck

ze blog

2009-08-11T23:37:00.000-07:00

someday someone is going to walk into your life and make you realize why it never worked put with anyone else

ze signout

2009-08-09T01:34:00.001-07:00

well... yeah read the title... its not a mistake cuz I'm referring to it yet again!!!!! yeah i wont be writing here for a lil while.... not exactly that i don wan to..... just that i feel like writing but i have nothing much to say an even if i do its like just not me.... i don exactly feel like myself anymore.... i don feel like the me i technically am and neither do i feel like the me i used to try to be..... or maybe this is the real me.... I'm not sure of that either!!!!

for now its more or less just change an ignorance..... am maybe i don feel like me too because people i used to know appear different themselves also..... maybe its just them who have changed and i feel like its me because the people i know usually tend to be a big part of me.... its like even the way i expect someone to react to something i say or do or feel or think is miles away from how they actually perceive it themselves!!!!

shit happens.... we move on yeah.... well i guess not right now at least.... I'm waiting for the void to completely set in.... for the world to entirely block itself out.... for the shadow to overwhelm yet again..... for the peaceful retreat out of reality.....

as i said.... i come in peace, i beg thee, do not block my path, do not try to hypnotize or attempt at convincing me that i have nothing to escape from.... do not be afraid, for i shall return again.... maybe mightier or just simply rested.... the sabbatical shall cease.... but til then.... allow me to walk in the valley of the shadows i do not fear but hope to embrace by the stream of hope..... everlasting.... ever living..... immortal....... fiction..............................

ze statement

2009-08-06T23:50:00.001-07:00

sometimes our last hope is it vibrating!

love n luck

ze ring

2009-06-11T01:23:00.000-07:00

make me beautiful...

a perfect soul
a perfect mind
a perfect face

a perfect lie!

love n luck

ze symphony, part II substitute aka 'ze view'

2009-06-09T09:36:00.000-07:00

Windows are the doors to your soul is it... well my windows don't reflect the outside world anymore, they shine my face back to me. Not the trees, the cars, the moon very rarely but occasionally or the stillness of the night. I miss that. I wonder what christmas will look like.

I used to adore sleeping on the couch in the hall looking through the window at whatsoever was visible. Also lving in Bombay it is a little difficult to live life simple. Well guess that just proves itself. Yes we have got anti-reflection coat6ing on our windows so that the heat of the sun doesn't screw us right over. Its amazing considering we have lived here since the start of the millennium and about a decade later even though no one has died of the heat ever since we have decided that we need anti-reflection coating on our windows. So now everytime I look at the window it either reminds me about how depressed im feeling or how undressed I looked. And usually I would not care a damn. But when things are shoved in your face every waking hour it tends to get a bit annoying. I hope at least it loses its effect when the light goes of. Everything stops shinning. The facade has to come off sometime. The mask has to fall to the floor. Will we ever be the same again? What we used to be a little while ago when we had everything all nicely and neatly planned and figured out, is it all lost, childhood memories? What will make us happy?

Ps. I dont sleep on the couch in the hall anymore. I've been shifted to the bedroom which for the record is a tiny bit bigger than my hostel room and has 1 bed extra comparatively.

Love n luck
(01.06.2009)

ze past

2009-06-08T10:24:00.000-07:00

Almost each and every one of us has something in the past which frequently pops up out of nowhere, straight out of the blue. Something that haunts us. Something that once happened that caught our attention to such an extent that it makes sure we never forget it. Maybe a recurring dream, a nightmare that is, or a reminder every time we do something, or the flash backs every time we go somewhere. It maybe the unknown which gets to us even more as we don't know what we are dealing with. Or it maybe the stark memory we would like to not recall. Surprisingly, whatsoever it maybe, head on collision is the only thing known to undo it. The few other time that we come across head on collisions are then when nuclear atoms are bombarded with a neutron and large amounts of energy is obtained by the mass difference. And an other time is when, anti matter and matter collide and energy is absorbed leaving a vacuum. Then again elastic or not or perfectly.

Besides straight confrontation, there are also the various therapy processes that help you heal yourself. Spiritual, hypnotic or prescription therapeutic. But then again, there are dreams, reality. Virtual and illusionary. And there is the past, present and future. And there is life, ever moving, never stagnant or stationary.

Time wont let you down.

Love n luck
(02.06.2009)

ze ambition and getting over it

2009-06-08T01:01:00.000-07:00

Is it just high school when we are all idealists, all innate high aspirations? People we want to be. Places we want to go. Changes we are certain we will definitely ensure happen. It is that time when there are things we stand up for and others we protest about. Even if they are small incidents in school, we are vocal about it. Even if just amongst ourselves, we have an opinion. And then what happens? When do we start becoming indifferent?

As we grow up, we let go of most things as mere childhood dreams and insanity. A play world where we could conjure castles from sand-pits and believe that storks gifted babies from above. Yes we were a little insane then but what about when we learned of abortion, euthanasia, human trafficking, global warming and had things to say about it. We all tried our small ways. Not burning crackers, separating garbage, to do what we thought could change the world. So when did we finally decide that it was all a fable? When did we lose hope?

When we graduate we are still inspiration ridden. We have seen more people succeed than not. Everything through college seemed to prepare us for the world but when we finally enter it, the hidden images no one ever talked about. The lack of integrity, dignity, and humanity. The rat race was always familiar but its extent is now thrust upon us with an unbearable force and the only difference is how long it takes you to give in to the yolk. It is just about the time when you begin to bow your head. Allow the sea to engulf you. Allow the boat to capsize. It is when you give in. You lose yourself. You lose who you are. When we finally let go of our overactive, wide with wonder and imagination and belief that everything works out well and we will all be rich someday and become impending zombies, all for the lack of a dream or someone to be... Will I lose myself somewhere?

Your heart matters, it's what got me here.

Love n luck
(01.06.2009)

ze mistake

2009-06-07T11:22:00.000-07:00

Body Integrity Identity Disorder (BIID), also known as Amputee Identity Disorder, refers to a mental disorder implying a psychological feeling that one would be happier living life as an amputee and is usually, if not always, accompanied by the desire to amputate one or more healthy limbs in order to enact that desire.

Surgeons do not treat BIID patients by giving them what they want. Some act out their desires, pretending they are amputees using prostheses and other tools to ease their desire to be one. Some sufferers resort to self-amputation of a "superfluous" limb, by allowing a train to run over it, or by damaging the limb so badly that surgeons have to amputate it. However, there are few if any cases of actual self amputation of a lower limb recorded. Often the obsession is with one specific limb, and with patients "not feeling complete while they still have that limb". However, BIID does not simply involve amputation. It involves any wish to significantly alter body integrity. Some people suffer from the desire to become paralyzed, blind, deaf, use orthopedic appliances such as leg-braces, etc. Some people spend time pretending they are an amputee by using crutches and wheelchairs at home or in public.

How often does the lack of something make us feel whole? I'm remembering, vaguely if even, a recent quiz on facebook. Yeah I agree they are all more jobless than the other, but whatsoever, this one was on how much you're worth. One of the questions were: 'Would you cut off you're limbs for a million bucks?'. Well I would never be able to dream of life without a finger let alone an entire appendage so a million bucks and I guess even all the riches of the world would never make me do such a thing. Yes, I'm not that shallow after all, who would have thought?

But here, here people are willing to give all the riches in the world to remove a limb. They think it was a mistake. God blessed or cursed them with it unknowingly when they were supposed to not have it. It slipped the creator's mind! Mentally ill they call it. Or maybe just a way out of the box imagination. From when did we decide what is and isn't normal. I guess we have been doing it for a while now, homosexual or bisexual tendencies, superiority of the races, mental stability and intelligence levels, literature interpretations and this is just part of it. Maybe Shakespeare said what he meant and meant what he said. Maybe there is no read between the lines. Maybe we came up with the whole idea just to make it seem more complex and so we would have something to look up to. A legend for all of time. Maybe it's just a very simple truth after all. Just that and nothing else. But now we'll never know will we?

When I was a bit younger I always found it weird when people said that they were sorry when they went to pay their condolences and sympathize with the relatives of the deceased. It always seemed like it wasn't their fault, but why would a sorry help? Yeah true we occasionally apologize for things we haven't dome just to make someone else feel better but even this logic didn't seem to fit the bill.

Do you sympathize with someone who's limb has died? Or is it some form of euthanasia? Or is it out right cold blooded murder? What do you do when it's all over and you realize it's not what you want but then it's a little too late?

Sometimes people's passing away sets you free if they were oppressive of some sort or always the type to keep putting you down that when they finally die you find it a reason to celebrate. So then again, now do you sympathize or rejoice? Mourn or party? And what is the new fashion of appreciating people not alive these days anymore as a means to a more liberal lifestyle?

Love n luck(06.06.2009)

Inspired by ''Nip/Tuck, Season 03, Episode 07 'Ben White' and a little help from Episode 12 'Sal Perri''

ze chance or circumstance

2009-06-05T01:02:00.000-07:00

*Chance or circumstance

Yes I really wonder how I managed to fit the two words together in a sentence. And they sound frickin’ amazing together too. Alliteration it is. Yeah just a ‘c’ but still. Yet chance OR circumstance when you say, doesn’t it seem like you are leaving room for nothing else? Isn’t everything in life finally summed up very accurately either by chance or circumstance. Whether you miss a train or manage to make it in the nick of time, I suppose is totally credited to chance, however the very fact that you have to take the train and do not have a chartered flight service at your beck and call, isn’t that circumstance. True that argument may be made that it is also ones personal choice, or the experience that one is looking forward too. Well that is chance and circumstance too. It is chance that you were born into circumstance which has caused you the prior experience that you now look forward too because of a sudden newly acquired freedom.

So when I say that Bombay or Manipal ultimately win over the other by chance or circumstance, and if chance and circumstance is all that there is to the world, yes, I agree through a very narrow minded futile attempt at trying to sum up the complex working of the universe in two words, I could have concluded the sentence at Manipal itself. But maybe there is a reason, an underlying motive to why I decided to stretch it for a few more words. And probably the reason is hope. Aspiration! The prospect of the galaxy being expounded in more than 2 words which have the same end 4 letters! That life and death and everything in the middle is not just a mere rut. The impetus to make you reach for more. The stimulus to drive you further. The impulse.

Could I be the push that makes you move?
-This is not the aforementioned continuation.

Love n luck
(31.05.2009)

ze zymphony

2009-06-04T02:02:00.000-07:00

I would like to consider my life as a fraction of 2 places… me, my likes or the lack of them, my hobbies, even what I eat vary according to these 2 places. And these 2 very distinct groups are further sub-divided according to the amount of people that surround me. And this is solely defined by the mood or mental state I co-exist with as the bane of my subsistence. It’s actually a very clear picture as depicted by still running waters. The under-currents and occasional tempest is not taken into high consideration here at the moment. That we shall just leave for one of those weird aura disposition days. Here we shall just discuss the calm, unruffled train of thought.

Yes the 2 places are home, and college, the almost home away from home. I personally have neither one on top of the other on an ‘I – love – the – most…’ list. In fact they are very stalemate like if they ever choose to compete. One might just win over the other by chance or circumstance*. 2 lives. No just 1. 2 places. True. 2 people. Occasionally, though one parasitic of the other. 2 surroundings. Totally!

The question at the end of this is though, how different are the two from each other anyway? It’s occasionally amazing how both can co-exist from time to time for very brief but conspicuous intervals. For example, the internet, phone conversations, letters etc. Yet at the end of it, the bed you sleep in tells you where you are. Are you where you want to be?

-To be contd.

Love n luck
(31.05.2009)
Inspired by ‘Like The Flowing River, Paulo Coelho’

*explained in next post

ze me

2009-04-25T20:05:00.000-07:00

i am feeling that my relationship with myself, yes however crazy that may sound, is like way way way too dysfunctional... any one with ideas as to how to change that status, pls report as soon as possible.... will be very very very greatly appreciated...

there are things that are known
and there are things that are unknown
and between them there are doors.

what i would give to kno...

love n luck

ze invincible

2009-04-06T11:53:00.000-07:00

Out of the night that covers me
Black as the pit from pole to pole
I thank whatever Gods may be
For my unconquerable soul

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not once cried aloud
Under the bulgeness of chance
My head is bloody and unbowed

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the horror of the shade
And yet the menace of the years
Finds and shall find if you're afraid

It matters not how straight the gates
Or charged with punishments the scroll
I am the master of my fate
I am the captain of my soul

__________________________________________________

Do not look back at who you were in the past for it is gone, and do not be troubled about the future, for it is yet to come. Live in the present and make it so beautiful that you dreamt about it in the past and remember it in the future...

if only leaving the past behind is that easy... Fate... Overhanging fate...

love n luck

ze week

2009-04-01T02:14:00.000-07:00

i actually had a few things in mind to put up... things i think of bloggin about when they happen or shortly after that kinda thing but now at the moment i am completely blank on that front..... absolutely... completely.... totally... oh and dropped in at home for a while too... showed my face there for a brief period of time.... it was such a change that i kinda fell sick in the bargain too.... some trip back home.... enhanced some relationships... severed some others.... made my dad make the shortest trip to manipal ever in the history of mankind i presume.... and im writin crap so il continue later.... sowie...

love n luck

ze scent

2009-03-25T04:34:00.000-07:00

Everybody has their own special scent. And each scent has 3 distinct parts technically termed as notes. A top note, a middle note and a base note… most people are only aware of their top notes. How they want to be perceived, their image. The middle layer is a buffer to keep the external highs away from the forbidden lows. Forbidden because its what people are most afraid of, their true selves. Close your eyes so that you can see it all.

love n luck

ze dope

2009-03-20T01:11:00.000-07:00

la suite...

I am alone
Not just me
We're alone
Alone forever
And at the end of that forever tunnel up is a wall paper of sky scrappers
I'm thinking after all those beautiful trips
This is one of those bad ones

So ya yesterday n a lil of today affirmed why people shudn do dope... or get out of it as soon as possible.... ya we all think everything we do we have perfect control over... kno wen to start... stop... can regulate time and place or flawless abstinence... that was the basic underlyin princple of basketball diaries.... based on a ture story.. a personal diary narration of and by Jim Carroll.... Leonardo DiCaprio, Mark Wahlberg... both basketball players... pretty good game career on the horizon... dope dependancy on the increase... best friend dies of leukemia... pop pills before a game n fall on court... pull out from school and all hope of a future ends there.... from sniffin bag to coke n then intravenous.... mum throws him out... so now all the freedom in d world.... pickpockets, steals cars, break-in robbery, partially the cause of a guys death, allows a guy to feel him up n give him a blow job in exchange for 30 bucks, his own mother finally has him arrested...... now thats when he gets clean, whilst livin amongst the best dope u can find.... gets out n gets life back on track.....
By the age of 17, Jim Carroll comleted what would later be known as 'The Basketball Diaries'...
By the age of 22, he published 3 renowned volumes of poetry n later recorded 4 albums...
Presently, lives in New York City, where he continues to write and is an acclaimed poet, musician, novelist and performer...

movie decently graphic, not graphic graphic but enough to convince you that dope isn half the best thing on the planet... brief explanations from him as he narrates diary entries... the on-top-of-the-world first time heroin feelin, the sell almost sex for cash, the pain cursin thru ur veins wen u cant resist not sniffin, when u think that its just a friday night pass time but then its a lil too nice to increase frequency to a tuesday too and then maybe thrice a week, yeah u still have control, u can stop whenever u like, (can u?), the loneliness.......

well i, till now at least din approve of smokin up at least cuz of the whole smoke screws my environment, n dope isn to be endorsed either cuz its primarily illegal.... the above are supposed to be symptoms... i wouldn kno.... maybe i shouldn talk witout experience.... but apparently its smart to learn from your mistakes yet smarter to learn from other peoples mistakes.... but how much those mistakes actually teach would nullify how much of a mistake it is if only you choose to learn.... else its a worthless waste which includes a squander of life and bare existence...

an impendin question.... how many to be Jim Carrolls will we be fortunate or unfortunate to meet durin these 4 years..... all our lifetime will be somethin lik it but im more concerned about now n d people im aware of now..... til today iv never condemned dope so much as now... i might have even considered it a few times.... i hope manipal finds its diversion of that road fast enough for salvation... or maybe tomorrow might never be theirs.....

And I'd give up forever to touch you
'Cause I know that you feel me somehow
You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be
And I don't want to go home right now

And all I can taste is this moment
And all I can breathe is your life
'Cause sooner or later it's over
I just don't want to miss you tonight

And I don't want the world to see me
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming
Or the moment of truth in your lies
When everything feels like the movies
And you bleed just to know you're alive

And I don't want the world to see me
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am
-Iris,
Goo Goo Dolls,
Dizzy Up The Girl (1998)

love n luck

ze basketball diaries

2009-03-19T07:39:00.000-07:00

Little kids shoot marbles
Where branches break the sun
Into graceful shafts of light
I just wanna be pure
Just wanna be pure

If your goin to sniff, you might as well pop it,
If your goin to pop it, you might as well main line!

The rain clears the streets of the silent armies, so we can dance.

Dont let your mouth get u something ur ass cant handle.

love n luck

ze thoughts

2009-03-17T11:32:00.000-07:00

Pretty is in the eye of the beholder… Beauty is in the soul… But you know it when you feel it

Eyes are the reflection of the soul

There’s no fear of the unknown because its all unknown, everything is chance

love n luck

ze evolution

2009-03-17T07:44:00.000-07:00

today i have absolutely nothin in mind to write but im still feelin lik writin somethin... a lil on the philosophical side if possible... but lets see what comes naturally... u don try an force anythin.... jus let it take its time... all d time it wants or maybe its just never meant to be..... not exactly on the line of if u love somethin set it free if it returns its yours if it doesn it never was.... not the same logic.... cuz here ur not even sure about what it is to even love it.... your waitin for it to evolve and take its own time.... ur not tryin to speed up anythin.... u have to get somewhere.... many many countless ways to get there.... a short route, a long one.... or maybe one u run thru or another u crawl thru.... so ya take ur time.... u don need to get there in a hurry..... runnin is a waste of energy.... and what if the destination needs u to know what the route includes...??? what if.... when u reach there no ones bothered about how early u are.... what if all they want to kno is how many colours u saw on the way..... consider u ran by, then all u would have noticed is a blur.... ur entire life is now a blur.... n u cant pick things outta a whirlpool.... the speed defines it.... isn a lovely calm, maybe a lil breezy day better then a terror tornado striken emptyness???
hu wants to get up one day and realise their very existence has been absolute crap..... n moreover theyv done all they couldv in their stride to get there as soon as they could n then mayb rest happily ever after... all achieved, but not much that can be done wit it.... worthless... wasted.... maybe they shudv got high on weed once in a while... it would be a more ironically memorable wastedness experience.....

haste makes waste.... somethin we always knew since v wer kids ya.... maybe it din jus end der n it included a way more sophisticated meanin to the whole thin.... n mayb this isn what its implyin either.... but jus mayb it is......

Life, it's ever so strange
Think that you've worked it out then
Bang
Right out of the blue, something happens to you
to throw you off course and then you

Break down
Yeah, you break down
Well, don't you break down
because

It's just a ride, it's just a ride
No need to run, no need to hide
It'll take you round and round
Sometimes you're up, sometimes you're down
It's just a ride, it's just a ride
Don't be scared, don't hide your eyes
It may feel so real inside, but don't forget
It's just a ride

Truth we don't wanna hear(don't wanna hear)
It's too much to take(too much to take)
Don't like to feel out of control
So we make our plans(we make our plans)
Ten times a day(ten times a day)
And when they don't go our way we

Break down
Yeah, we break down
Well don't you break down
because

It's just a ride, it's just a ride
No need to run, no need to hide
It'll take you round and round
Sometimes you're up, sometimes you're down
It's just a ride, it's just a ride
Don't be scared, don't hide your eyes
It may feel so real inside, but don't forget
It's just a ride

Slowly, oh so very slowly
Accept that there's no getting off
So live it, just gotta go with it
'Cuz this ride's never gonna top

Break down
Don't you break down
No need to break down
No need at all because

It's just a ride, it's just a ride
No need to run, no need to hide
It'll take you all around
Sometimes you're up, sometimes you're down
It's just a ride, it's just a ride
Don't be scared now, dry your eyes
It may feel so real inside, but don't forget
Enjoy the ride

love n luck

ze everlastin

2009-03-15T11:39:00.000-07:00

Since we kissed the first time
Since we slept on the beach
You were too close for comfort
You were too far out of reach
You walked away, I should have held you
Would you have stayed for me to tell you?

I have always loved you
I knew you before I knew myself
Oh, I have always loved you
Years go by in a matter of days
And though we go separate ways
I never stop dreaming of you
I have always loved you

When you call it makes me cry
We never made time for you and I
If I could live it all again
I'd never let it end, I'd still be with you
Oh God, I miss you

love n luck

ze moon

2009-03-11T01:48:00.000-07:00

Maybe you cant change a man...

But once in a blue moon,
You can change a woman...

love n luck

ze situation

2009-03-02T22:20:00.000-08:00

its been a while.. i hope i haven forgotten how to write... seein an archive of only 4 posts in feb irrespective of the fewer number of days... not nice and not that stuff din happen and even the lack of things happenin is decent to talk about.... yes its been a while, even my keyboard is seeming different.... so i shall update now.....

ongoing revels '09..... gonna be gettin classes off now... nice..... unfortunately most of our half days are den in any case but still somethin.... anythin... better than nothin... can do wit the extra sleep anyday now who cant???

revel's also caused ruchi to miss turtle bay..... totally not worth missin.... unforgettable...she kinda had pre committed dance to attend to.... that was some class outin.... we don do much of em... tho plannin is in progress.... execution has to be highly anticipated and awaited...

no no tutles but a calm calm sea... blue... pure blue water.... like none seen or done before as a reality kinda.... n no we din miss ruchi... i learnt to swim a lil... almost came back by truck... crazy nice bus ride... famished idiots... we ate anything that came our way later... an pretty good cheap chindi stuff did come our way... includin some crazy nice cauli flower fry for lik jus 15 bucks a plate.... twas crazy nice amazin fun... jus not the part wer somewhere on the journey i learnt that we had a crazy stupid idiotic assignment due d next day.... stupidity not d word... hahahaha ruchi missed it... i hope she reads this.... but guess she had a pretty good time on her own... dance isn all dat bad... some decent fun too.... tho she wouldv come had she not been pre committed... poor poor her... next time

see commitments are stupid randomly idiotic not worth it at all kinda thing.... waste... mega waste of time... jobless... pointless... not that i actually have much against commitment ironically but jus if u can do witout it i think u rather shud... better off that way accordin to me.... n i also find t difficult to guarantee anythin... so theen commitment becomes even slightly more difficult than it used to be now don u think so too??? u could like almost commit to anythin.. but don think thats commitment now anymore... it ceases to be....

oh n aaron was here.... at d same time that he was sick....at the same time that der was a blood donation drive... n mayb a lot of other same times wit it.... same time that i had to go to kundapura to bring vines bag i left there... the same time i missed t firs time my class tried a class trip to kaup... kapu... but stil was a nice dee tee saturday evenin.... amazin bus trip... udupi lunch... evenin date at basil.... saiba 6 bucks icecream.... kmc greens... dark roads... moon light... technically all these always enjoyable... always enjoyed... jus seems better to introduce someone knew to the best of life kinda thing.... hope there is a repeat decently soon enough...

battle of d bands almost sucked lik crap.... twas horrid serj tankian wannabes which wer major let downs.... tho battle of d dj's was pretty pretty good... especially d first participant ;) ... n random meet up wit people u almost lose contact wit for no reason in particular is fun too... same goes for valentines i guess... could do it again anyday.... n sky birthday parties.... all 3.. china valley aimlessly... valley view valentines... n sky birthday wer like amazin amazin fun... think dee tee saturday pre birthday can be included here too.... somethings like worth lookin forward too also....

jus btw i was at bangalore for a while... n omg i had d time of my life... mcDs, tasted aaaammmmaaaazzzzziiinnnnnnn... shoppin.... french... climate.... people n d lack of knowin em.... nice lookin guys... nice lookin french guy.... a room to myself.... a room wit a balcomy... a room wit a door... a room wit a cosy cosy bed.... a room wit a nice pillow.... a room wit a not big not small surprisingly just d right size bed... a room wit an attached bath... a room all too myself.... a room in an amazin lookin pent house.... wit a nice lookin guy in d house....

and jus d feelin of bein in bangalore... all alone one way of puttin it... cuz dat not entirely true... but not entirely false either... no one knowin u.... don have to think of a thin.... no worries.... jus takin life easy... as it comes... for the moment.. in the present.... a schedule to be followed at d same time.... joblessness.... schudeled humongous amounts of time to roll around in above mentioned bed.... its basically called livin the life... n surprisingly ironic i don think people to too major metropolitans to live a laid back existence but ya maybe thats wut made it better..... would like to do aain... sometime... mayb wit a little company... but t company not longed for... definitely...

and if ur wonderin whether to join ur friends in a place u absolutely detest... join them... people have feelings... places dont... n u can deal wit urs....

maybe its intuition... somethings you just dont question.... ... ... ... i knew i loved u before i met u... i think iv dreamed you into life....

love n luck

ze unthought of

2009-02-10T14:13:00.000-08:00

well as the title suggests... this is just a random thought.... no under lying, read between the lines thought.... just a jobless random, out of the world bored thing.... so think il give you a vague day discription....

today lik any other tuesday i royally screwd physics pracs... this time i wrote the wrong experiment and there were 2 to be written!!! my physics luck so knows to come in leaps and bounds....

on the good side... managed to get beyond decent amounts of mech engg sci, engg phy n engg math done... exams start tomm technically.... screwd again dis sem.... beyond stupidity... atleast they get over on saturday so they don entirely screw valentines day... not dat im a big fan... but i don detest detest either.... oh n wid all d chocolate day n hug day n teddy bear day.... i actually gave dese 3 guys n 3 girls a rose..... hope ul had a ball of a time.... its not goin to repet often.... don take advantage!!!

after quite a while d usual yukti late night conversations happened today... its like a laughing riot when wer are all around studyin at wierd odds of the mornin kinda thin, more like night but ya....

oh n finally wen d net starts working like decently enuf so that pidgin doesn keep reconnectin and signin out, jus den everyone worth talkin is snorin an enjoyin views of a virtually existent dimension..... talk abt d las man standin

and now i not only look like im a nerd but also dat i smoke n booze n smoke up all in the same package.... i shud find out somway how dat actually works.........

love n luck

ze secret

2009-02-06T01:28:00.000-08:00

one thing iv learned is that there would be no gossip without secrets... you might be brave enough to reveal your secret only to have it used against you... or someone elses secret might affect you in unexpected ways... there are some secrets your only too happy to keep... others surface only to be buried away deeper than they were before... but the most powerful secrets are the truths you thought you could never reveal... that once spoken change everything...

love n luck

ze scene

2009-02-05T10:16:00.000-08:00

read through the below to be listed conversation... well something that happened this evening would have probably resulted in a similar look over kinda thing but it didn... totally cuz i din wan it to.... in its all in my hands.... for now at least... i think... also hope so too.... and it would be nice if it remains like that..... guess it should work out for the best of everyone just like that.....

scene 1
set: in the dressing room during New York fashion week.... Top designer, Eleanor and so one of the 'high' class of New York, based vaguely on the life of her daughter and her friends... at the moment there is like a conflict for the throne at school between daughter, Blair Waldorf and best friend Serena Van Der Woodsen... Serena has recently befriended page 3 persona, Poppy... and Blair to piss of her in-the-spot-light friend sends all the models home who are scheduled to walk the ramp in not more than 10 mins and some one comes up with the brain wave that Serena and her friends will draw pubilicty.... everyone is dressed and the show has begun tho Serena ins dressed yet...... here goes!!!

Poppy: Hey, why arent u dressed?

Serena: I... I don't think im gonna do this. Blair will be crushed. And if anyone is going to be crushed. if anyone is going to walk the runway in Eleanor's designs its going to be her.

Poppy: Serena, I've known you only for a few weeks but, it's pretty clear, you've spent your whole life worryin about Blair. What she thinks and how she feels...

Serena: You dont understand...

Poppy: I was best friends for years with this girl that was just like Blair, and it was subtle, but i always had to make myself less sparkly so that she wouldn feel insecure, til one day i finally realised that that is crazy. As a tru friend i would want u to be your most beautiful vibrant self.

Serena: I dunno. jus. i really don wanna hurt her.

Poppy: i kno. i kno. but is dat a good reason to hide your light. your gorgeous. sweet. amazing. and if Blair's a true friend, she'll support you.

Serena: You're right... Eleanor, where's my dress?

Scene 2

Blair doesn lik the whole thing and so she tries screwin around a lil more... she gives Serena the dress made by one of Eleanor's interns to wear for the after party... although Serena pulls it off marvelously cuz unlike Blair who has to walk for everyone's attention... Serena just glides through... So here comes the discussion when everyones cleared out the dressing room except...

Blair: Serena can we talk?
Serena: About what? How you tried to publicly humiliate me?
Blair: You Know about the dress?
Serena: Ya, youre mums sec told me! She said it was an accident, clearly she doesn know u!!!
Blair: I'm sorry. i was hurt, ok? you blew off our most beloved tradition.
Just get over it Blair.
Blair: Excuse me?
Serena: My whole life i have been bending over backwards to protect your feelings, and you know what? its not my fault your so insecure
Blair: And im sure its not your fault youre so conceited.
Serena: I'm just tired of trying to hold myself back so i dont out shine you
Blair: Oh my god. can u hear the words that are coming out of your mouth?
Serena: Just the truth. from now on, im gonna be who i am. and if your goin to support that and not be threatened and competitive then great. if not... (turns and walks)

so some secrets are the truths you thought you could never reveal... that once spoken change everything...

request for explanations if wanted...

love n luck

ze load

2009-02-02T13:18:00.000-08:00

so y DO people make things so complicated.... u do not always have to read into anothers thoughts, words, actions, joys and sorrows.... people should stop thinking so much..... its pure stupidity.... ruins d moment n actually most of the existence.... and den they tend to dump their stupid baseless crap on u n expect u to try and change thier views about the whole situation stil maintainin their initial stand tho..... so now u also are wastin ur precious time and energy...... so as it is stupid idiotic random statements that are goin around the atmosphere picks a nice feeble ickle mind to land on and then torments them and their minuteness n so inability to apply non existent maturity screws around wid everyones life.... seriously people need to learn to relax...... to live... n let live in this context here..... seriously... else get a life.... its gettin on d nerves now....

one pre written with different emotions swarmin my mind:
Complexity has always been my strong point in my opinion… it technically doesn influence much it just maintains my sanity pretty much… for personal satisfaction… not that anything needs to be satisfied… don’t get how it actually pulls that off but still… being complicated has always been amusing… seld reassuring… guarantees a sound mind?? I dunno…. Dunno any more… but actually I never did… and its not only me, no one ever… I wonder why we think we know everything… again something I pride myself in achieving… and to top it off… I still will… the way I are…

so ya i like complexity.... i really do..... but what i was referin to earlier wasn jus dis..... it was partially.... freedom.... in whatever way u put it...... il sure lik to hear ur explanations..... i kno what im talkin abt.. do u?

love n luck

ze weekend kinda

2009-01-26T16:58:00.000-08:00

general class... over crowded train... not as much as i expected, a lil lesser than tht actually but the entire thing was lik nice nice.... n relatives in goa are a lil help atleast..... free coke for one..... n a place to stay.... n that was some cheak cheak vacation kinda thin.... amazin home cooked meals, come of it, n beyond amazin acutually....... n we went to d beach but not half way as far as into d water...... n it hasn changed much in 5 years.... man it felt killer crazy to be back home.... n d house did also have everything required under d sun....... yes it was hot.. n cold... they took their chances in turn...........

definitely alot of heads movin in mega different directions.... beer kinda cheaper than water in some ways.... sussegad goa.... mit students all over d place...... a nice bike ride, pretty not long lived but nice all the same.... jus some great stuff... n ya hu ever did come up wid a problem wid trips.....l their lik d best frickin things that cudv ever happened to d world kinda... yes ppls opinions may differ but if it does i wud jus attribute it to stupidity ya........ n i shud learn konkani....

n wut happens in goa, stays in goa.... lol kartay!!! :( screwd luck those u cudn make it...

n im almost always right.... believe it or learn it d hard way....

love n luck

ze take off

2009-01-23T23:46:00.000-08:00

n here take off also includes the entire take off of the plan in itself.... not very often that pre-made plans borderin on a sense of foolishness actually see the light of completion..... i hope im not speakin a lil too soon..... that would just be disastrous for the entire universe......

train leavin udupi at 4 n as far as i kno everyone on d face of manipal is takin d same train... by general... buyin tickets there and then... this is gonna be fun fun fun.... dis im definitely lookin forward too..... n for lik d first time in my life im havin d feelin dat goa isn all dat borin as presumed n also..... i lik bein lik non livin goa resident there.,.... mayb its a good thin im from there.... n at the moment family there is also startin to sound decently beneficial......

im lovin it..... more than McD style.....

love n luck
n happy weekend

ze exhaustion

2009-01-23T06:17:00.000-08:00

k so these idiots finally decide that they should start havin basketball practice.... that idiot of a mallaya, frickin first year girls who apparently hav potential to play any dam thin of the face of the planet... he actually searches for people on the frickin road n calls them to learn!!! yes learn so crappy sport.....

so ya den again dey finally decide dat they shud hav practise at frickin 6 in d mornin on a day wen i hav class til 8 in d frickin evenin.... and wuts worse.... only 2 ppl turn up... of which 1 is me... which means jus me n another girl.... consider basketball is a minimum 5 player team game n usually played wid 2 teams one vs other but no v shal get up at 5 some odd in d mornin n go play wid ourselves for lack of more jobless ppl.....

so ya crappy class.... don think it needs any further explanation....

den at 2 in d afternoon dey say dat der is practise again in d evenin n dis time wid d seniors.... which is any day a better option to play but still.... y practise twice a day?? i lik it n all... but twice a day????

but luckily or unfortunately for me i happened to have workshop at d same time.... carpentry... i hav no clue which one is more tiresome dan d other..... may b u shud try it out n see.... i seriously advise......

n so i shal wake up to d darkness once again tomorrow mornin n get ready to go screw my bodily equilibrium at d court once again as t cock crows.....

den we shal bust our backsides in d train to goa standin all d way....

go goa!!!

love n luck

ze bizarreness

2009-01-21T10:01:00.000-08:00

today was jus out right crazy.... i slept lik d whole of a night dan i hav slept in ages... n a lil before that i returned to d hostel way before i usually used to tend to, then i felt absolutely dirty dirty aft showerin.... as in hu does dat, ur supposed to feel all clean.... so ya aft sleepin for lik ages, i stil fall asleep in class.... dat was lik impossible.... i go to class thinkin how for d first time in a long while i might jus hear wut d guy is sayin tho in vain.....then i feasted on dal for lunch, i mean i almost hate dat dish n i enjoyed it today n d whole point of it lyin in my plate was lack of a better option....got all bank n library work done for a while.... made sarah walk lik crazy..... used my sunglasses...... went all d way to udupi to eat cake aft anticipatin horrid stuf which was proved right.....

return n den go to sit at kmc greens absolutely randomly... one of d first ppl to enter d mess, eat n b done wid... had a fight wit d sri lankan idiot.... its been long, almost forever since iv fought wid someone.... anyone...... knock knock...

love n luck

ze old improved finale

2009-01-21T00:44:00.000-08:00

We're not the same, dear, as we used to be.
The seasons have changed and so have we.
There was little we could say, and even less we could do
To stop the ice from getting thinner under me and you.

We bury our love in the wintery grave
A lump in the snow was all that remained.
But we stayed by its side as the days turned to weeks
And the ice kept getting thinner with every word that we'd speak.

And when spring arrived
We were taken by surprise when the floes under our feet bled into the sea
And nothing was left for you and me.

We're not the same, dear,
And it seems to me
There's nowhere we can go
With nothing underneath.
And it saddens me to say
But we both know, well, it's true
That the ice was getting thinner
Under me and you.
The ice was getting thinner
Under me and you.

love n luck

whod ever think aaron was heaven sent...

ze painting

2009-01-20T10:30:00.000-08:00

"You should keep on painting no matter how difficult it is, because this is all part of experience, and the more experience you have,
the better it is...
unless it kills you, and then you know you have gone too far."

~ Alice Neely

love n luck

n today wil finally prove dat i don suffer from insomnia... i hope atleast

ze suicide

2009-01-19T14:36:00.001-08:00

"..we had to breathe forever the air of the rooms in which they killed themselves. It didn't matter in the end how old they had been, or that they were girls, but only that we had loved them, and that they hadn't heard us calling, still do not hear us, up here in the tree house, with our thinning hair and soft bellies, calling them out of those rooms where they went to be alone for all time, alone in suicide, which is deeper than death, and where we will never find the pieces to put them back together."

love n luck

ze finale

2009-01-19T07:19:00.000-08:00

we're not the same dear it seems to me
there's nowhere we can go
nothing underneath
then it saddens me to say
what we both knew was true
that the ice was getting thinner
under me
and u
the ice was getting thinner
under me
and u

love n luck

ze interest

2009-01-17T14:09:00.000-08:00

So do you always have anothers best interests in mind? Are you happy for em? would you have a problem wen it comes to somethin they want, u want em not to have, ul both wont somethin only one could have, possesion, jealousy, treachery? Puzzling? Tricky? Hindrance? Obstruction? Just randomly… surprising how sometimes you seem to think that you make a difference to people some way or the other… usually for the best… atleast you hope to… everyone thinks of others… even if they try their best to appear not to… how people try so hard sometimes… and we all do sometime or the other even if just for a moment or two…

motives anyone?

love n luck

ze sleep

2009-01-12T10:06:00.001-08:00

dis place makes me feel lik crazy crazy sleepy kinda thin..... n i lik rush back from class to sleep but i land up havin a shower instead n im not exactly the biggest fan of water really but i just keep feelin sleepy......

n since d same thin is happenin now too..... good night.......

love n luck

ze reappearance

2009-01-10T21:43:00.000-08:00

so my sabatical wen it comes to d blog update has ended i hope... so reappearance on 'our souls verdict' for one.... its nice to be back... thank u all hu have made dis possible..... first id lik to thank god for everything he has given me.... my parents..... yada yada..... il continue wen i do win dat nobel....... or maybe write that book...... well this is my first post of the year too..... i have reached manipal as of 6 some odd dis mornin.... the bus journey from udipi wasn as good as had expected tho.... dat idiot drove sanely.....!!

it feels nice to be back.... the stuff ur used too as it is widout changin one bit..... everything seems to be continuin from wer it left of as if der had never been a separation of any sort at all kinda thing..... lik it waited for u.... the whole place and everything wit it.... it refused to move a nanometer til we 'reappeared' voodoo-cally for me, braids et al.... yo jamaica.....

so now bmbay has been left far behind.... that was one amazin amazin holiday..... the best so far ever kinda thing.... i pretty much had d time of my life.... very little u cud ask for beyond dat...... it was good..... n i had d moon followin me all my way from der.... lik watchin over me or sometin.... it was crazy crazy bright...... made my white blouse glow.....

oh n i hav class.... workshop actually from 5-8 on a frickin friday evenin... n i hav french class 5.30-6.30..... lik wut in d world wer dey thinkin wen dey came up wid dis genius timetable.... frickin idiots..... hu does crazy shit lik dis??? frickin wierdos.... its beyond stupidity.....

love n luck

n if ur missin me.... don tink u will for a while now....

ze 2008

2008-12-31T03:53:00.000-08:00

man this has been one year...... and it wins the best year award i have survived hands down.... if this year hadn happened i wonder what my life wud be today n in my opinion i wud lik actually hav a resolution to make if this year hadn turned out lik this.... sure the resolution wud be something lik try to hav a year lik this not knowin all it wud entail or how to go about the whole thing but still something on those lines you know...... so ya this year has probably seen alotta firsts and lasts.... self realization n oblivion.... hope and the lack of it (not that i usually hope for much but sometimes there is this certain sense of rare optimism if u kno wut i mean)... then there is the usual breakin rules tho this year especially saw some very legal ones n theres also the obedience to them... an lik always learn new words, see new places, meet new people, start new relationships, survive new experiences, plan new things, do never-done-before stuff..... n the likes

so as a new year begins im casually reminiscin... again somethin new cuz i don do stuff lik dis often.... i rarely relook things i feel its better this way but then again i did mention alot of new things happened this year.... n im really greatful for em all.... i did mention dat this year has seen that i have d time of my life.... so for one of the first few times im feelin d sense of leavin something good behind.... yes this year surely has got more emotion into me or mayb its just maturity but then that again is somethin that comes wit time......

so at the end of the day... the end of the year.... the year doesn have to end... y shud a bunch of numbered papers determine when things start n end.... i was thinkin more lik a loopin theory here.... so although i appreciate... greatly appreciate is an understatement..... the year gone bye.... i don think the 1st of Jan, 2009 should be any different than the last if not better.... so i believe it shouldn end lik this... it wont.....!!!!

love n luck

ze Freewheelin' Bob Dylan

2008-12-27T00:57:00.000-08:00

QUOTES.

"Some people feel the rain. Others just get wet."

"A poem is a naked person... Some people say that I am a poet."

"I don't call myself a poet, because I don't like the word. I'm a trapeze artist."

"People today are still living off the table scraps of the sixties. They are still being passed around - the music and the ideas."

"I've always been the kind of person that doesn't like to trespass, but sometimes you just find yourself over the line."

"I'm speaking for all of us. I'm the spokesman for a generation. "

"I accept chaos, I'm not sure whether it accepts me."

"This land is your land and this land is my land, sure, but the world is run by those that never listen to music anyway."

LYRICS.

"No one is free; even the birds are chained to the sky."

"In the dime stores and bus stations, people talk of situations, read books, repeat quotations, draw conclusions on the wall."

"Democracy doesn't rule the world, You'd better get that in your head; This world is ruled by violence, But I guess that's better left unsaid."

"Mona Lisa must have had the highway blues, you can tell by the way she smiles."

"Inside the museums, Infinity goes up on trial. Voices echo, this is what salvation must be like after a while."

"Ain't it just like the night to play tricks when you're tryin' to be so quiet? We sit here stranded, though we're all doin' our best to deny it. And Louise holds a handful of rain, temptin' you to defy it."

love n luck

ze self consciousness

2008-12-24T14:49:00.001-08:00

so ya after closely observing the specimen under careful and uncontrolled surrounding circumstances we have now become aware of the once highly self conscious persona in question has for reasons unknown seemed to have let down her guard... what has also been observed is that this has not been a slow gradual process tho on the other hand it has been a rapid, unexpected, totally not anticipated change... this can be proved by the fact that the observers weren even sure if what they wer veiwin could be classified as astimatism or illusional... it was so one of a kind that if eyes din pop it wud b a matter of discussion....

so now that v hav been familiarized wit the above stated data what comes to follow is what do you think catalysed this sudden abrupt behavioral pattern improvement.... what had happened that led to this.... who made this happen... how has the previous philosophy been amended to allow this.... when did realization dawn.... why such a sudden change of train of thought....

so anyone considerin pursuin this issue wil be highly appreciated and so will any data or conclusions that whomsoever may try... highly anticipated... please be useful...

love n luck

ps. all the above observations wer noted when the subject was under no influence of illegal or underage substances whatsoever

ze return of the ipod

2008-12-19T03:46:00.000-08:00

it's been a while... quite a while actually.... and i'm takin a break from the reality series with the evident lack of reality in me life at the moment.... and to think that in bombay of all places life wouldn't be eventful resulting in a sudden decline in d blog update empire that it actually leaves you high and dry in reference to our souls verdict.... yes writer's block we have reached haven't we? we shall just hope and pray that this is temorary and this too shall pass....

also been a lil too lazy to walk all d way to d comp.... ya i kno i make it sound lik as though nearest net access is lik a mirage in a saharan oasis but consider lethargy.... and the agony while your hopin net will connect... hope hope hope... n then it doesn n u wanna tear your hair out....

oh but i have not been doin absolutely nothin if u consider readin the twilight series somethin which it is.... the second book is a tad more borin than the first.... well im not sayin its borin... jus that its not the most interestin thing in the world.... it has been keepin me mega company and im not not loyal jus there cudv hav been a lil more punch ya kno.... decent for what its worth tho in my opinion..... and the whole werewolf vampire enemity is jus so much more amusin wen dey both fightin over a girl... n u kno how gay those fights can be.... all mushy n stuff..... but dis is lik serious serious i-hate-u.... adolescent emotions aside kinda thin..... frickin awesome.... else it wud lik jus be plain sad... n i bet she's baskin in that glory that two guys.... well not guys exactly to b specific.... are lik willin to rip the skin off each others backs over her if nothin else..... whoa.... some story line to it....

oh n if u make a few observations.... i appear to be the inspiration behind bella's character... yup i know crappy name.... meyer forgot to ask me for my choice there but im anticipatin her apology letter to reach soon enuf..... happy musin et ponderin this fact.... any improvements on the case pls be sure to notify me.... mayb that will be the subject of my new book.... the bella version of moi!!!!

love n luck.....

ze reality... part 3

2008-12-14T23:21:00.000-08:00

well now this is an entirely me publication kinda thing... yes all equipped wid sms lingo et al... n jus btw the sms lingo is so to emphasize my extreme laziness tendency....

but yes back to the reality which is kind of bothering me.... yes what i am talking about here is specifically the presence of entirely lik picture perfect guys from all angles tho only present in fantasy an never in the world i am livin in.... it can be frickin pissin off i tell u... the guy in mention looks amazin lik outta dis world or somethin although he is outta dis world but stil... n he is lik smart n nice n possess an amazin sense of sarcasm with an air of oblivion n he is able to read peoples minds or jus ppl on the whole wit utmost precision.... now thats jus way tooo much of a package to put together kinda thing... n he is not even available.... primarily cuz he doesn exist... fiction i tell u.... should be hung upside down and den beheaded...... now coming to think of it.... fiction fantasy is one reason i stopped readin.... it makes u regret d world ur livin in... not regret exactly cuz i kinda pride myself in not regretin anytin i do.... but its lik a major let down to kno dat even if u did sacrifice everytin u had only to move into dat dimension it wud stil be impossible as dat dimension is not existent.... NON-EXISTENT!!!!

*sob sob* i pity myself...

love n luck

ze reality... part 2

2008-12-14T02:51:00.000-08:00

TRANSITIVITY

You rip apart my carefully constructed reality and leave your fingerprints sprawled across the scene of the crime. Ragged images cascade in the periphery of my vision as I fall into the arms of my memory.Come away with me, you seem to whisper, as my messy curls caress your face. I close my eyes and carve circles into your chest with my finger.If only it were that simple, I sigh to myself.I roll onto my back and cross my arms behind my head. Before long I am immersed in the cognition, captured by the suspended frame of time, aware of the impending transit of circumstances.
Though maybe it can be.

love n luck

-Facebook, Notes

ze reality... part 1

2008-12-11T23:38:00.000-08:00

One day, I met a boy. He had long hair, and he wore it down like an angel.
"My name is Rob," he said.
"Anna," I answered, and then we smiled.
Rob was my best friend. We talked about heaven and love and coffee with just enough sugar and cream. Ours was a fairy-tale dreamland with perfect moments where we never ran out of things to say.
"Let's be hippies today," he said, and we donned our sunglasses and handkerchiefs, let down our hair and talked of peace and love.
"Lets be bad," I said, and we scowled, decked out in black, and rocked to heavy metal.
"Let's be optimistic," he said, and we walked around in yellow, on top of the world.
"Let's be individuals," he said, and we made up puzzling outfits, contemplated anarchy, and laughed. This was our favourite game.
Sometimes we sang, sometimes we ran, sometimes we talked, but mostly we laughed. We had summers of perfection and idyllic winters. We had sunshine, and we had red cheeks, and we danced in the rain. It was beautiful.
"Let's be in love," I said, and I bit my nails and cried afraid he wouldn't like this game. He danced.
"I love you!" he said, and on went our fairy-tale dreamland. But my stomach was upset, and my eyes cried without me at night, and I knew that it was wrong.
"Let's break up," I said, and he cried. And I cried for his broken heart and the way he didn't look at me anymore.
"I don't like this game," he said.
Then our fairy-tale dreamland and we looked around to see where the colors had gone, and why our world was gray.
"I think it left with the love," I said, and I cried.
"But it was just a game," he said, laughingquietly, and I remembered that there were no kisses. My heart hurt and I cried because I didn't realize the truth.
Once I knew a boy. Now he has forgotten our fairy-tale dreamland, and I watch him as his heart grows cold. He says that he is truly bad.
"Let's hate each other," he said, and I agreed. Then my stomach turned again, and I cried in the dark, and I knew it was wrong.
"Let's make up," I said, and we pretended. Then we tried to remember our fairy-tale dreamland, but he could not find the way and I lost him.
"Let's say I've fallen in love with someone else," he said, and I smiled sadly because it was no longer a game, and he would never play with me again.
"Let's move on," I said.
I remember a boy. We once had a fairy-tale dreamland. Sometimes I still go there, looking for him, because he was lost.
"Let's be hippies today," I call, but I get no answer.
Once, I knew a boy.

love n luck

ze arrival

2008-12-09T06:11:00.000-08:00

well not much will be comin up here... i have observed d internet status here and it is more thatn sable compared to what i have got myself used to in the past 4 minus net available months... but as i type more of my bombay closed clamish non expressive self is setting in so how much i actually wanna share will be like relatively zilch... there are a lot alot of expeiences especially with respect to trains and and the maturity levels of small kids but mayb that wil just be a topic of discussion some other time....

so long then....
again the farewell i bid thee might be very brief or shortlived but whi knows the future now, do you?

love n luck

ps: notice the absence of song lyrics whatsoever

ze probable temopary farewell

2008-12-06T23:28:00.000-08:00

well this might be my last post for a long time indefinitely... not promisin my absence *pessimistic* but the net at home is more unpredictable than the stuff available here... i kno not really possible but hard times i tell you... unbelievable yet true... and technically i am on holiday... ya i kno miss me miss me... but enough of what may or may not be... cuz we arent even sure of it yet...

but yes if you ask how my stay here is going well i wont really tell you cuz ur supposed to be here... any other day i wouldv but you have to pay the price for strandin me here in the middle of nowhere kind oof thing... not that im not enjoyin your lack of presence but stil... i lik drama... i kno this last post of the year probably is lik an irony to the whole dramatic thing but you have to excuse the light state of mind... it has not even sunk in yet.... somethin....

And we keep driving into the night
It's a late goodbye, such a late goodbye...

love n luck

i am o'If you do not want it fixed like that...
Be more careful so that it wont break'
-Full Metal Alchemist (S01 E27)

ze world

2008-12-05T23:37:00.000-08:00

it just like imaginary... out of this world kinda thing... like a dream... lik its not happenin... lik u think its happenin but your not sure... that u kno its happenin but u think it isn... that u kno its happpenin but u don want it to but you wan it to... dreamin...

and i lik it... couldn hav been better... not dat i kno what it would be if it was better but its happenin and thats all i can ask for... an evidently im havin a ball of a time... im dancin... dat never happens... i never dance in d middle of d road... i never plan to dance at end point.... i never plan to go for pub parties... dat not really my kinda thin... i never ask ppl if dey wanna dance jus cuz i really wanna... n i never wanna in d first place... n net doesn work at amazin speeds ever... n jus... im lovin it... true McD style... oh n yes an im jus a few hrs away from the McD in the same area kinda thin...

these idiots have left... dey kinda went yday... n apparently my face did a wierd twist thin when dey wer leavin... but i dunno about dat... i don think so... i hope it din... i believe i din... i trust it din... n i cant really see my face... n moreover i cant see it from a bus... especially since im not in d bus but im tryin to figure wer d ppl i wanna see in d bus are... n ppl wer feelin sorry for me... dey kept askin how i was... d world is goin nuts... n dese idiots hardly hav lik reached homw n dey already missin here... yes im here... i don hav to miss here... nice...

"Wish You Were Here"

So, so you think you can tell Heaven from Hell,
blue skies from pain.
Can you tell a green field from a cold steel rail?
A smile from a veil?
Do you think you can tell?
And did they get you to trade your heroes for ghosts?
Hot ashes for trees?
Hot air for a cool breeze?
Cold comfort for change?
And did you exchange a walk on part in the war for a lead role in a cage?
How I wish, how I wish you were here.
We're just two lost souls swimming in a fish bowl, year after year,
Running over the same old ground.
What have we found? The same old fears.
Wish you were here.

ze end

2008-12-04T11:27:00.000-08:00

it just began and its over... done with already... it seems just like yesterday that we were hoping we wpuld get admission and then when we did we were hoping everything would go right.... we finally reach here n it's a little let down but we can deal with that... make friends... lose em... get better ones... begin to not care... learn to get along on your own, make do with what u can, thank the Almighty for the great stuff you have and always know at the back of your mind that irrespective of all the crap that happens everywhere you still wouldn't ask for any different life even one tiny bit whatsoever...

but we like one sem up already i just dont hope that the other 7 which are left pass just as fast... it not nice like that... not nice at all....

and the apparent good news is that end sems are done with... they are over... peace and sanity to reign for a while now... dunno about the sanity part really cuz all i can think of now is dancing really and me and dancing dont exactly go hand in hand... and to top it of i was like doing the birdy dance on the frickin road today and almost the entire stretch of the road... that is definitely something now.... no denial... snap your finger tips... flap your hands like wings... and...........

oh baby let me be
oh let him be
your teddy bear

love n luck